I have been requested to analyze and discuss the essay paper for the UPSC CSE Mains 2020- 2021 conducted recently by many of my students/readers. I want to put myself in their shoes and understand their biggest challenges.
Which is why my approach in this article will be to show you how to write a good essay on one of the topics as well as to take you through the entire process of brainstorming, argument-formation, rough work, structuring and organization of the essay as I went through it. This will not only enrich you about the essay topic under consideration but also teach you how to use the techniques to construct a similar essay on any topic.
How to approach the Essay topic in UPSC Exam Essay paper
Let us consider the first topic in section A-
“Life is a long journey between human being and being humane”
I will use the techniques listed in my book the Ultimate Cheatbook of Essay & Answer-writing to demonstrate the steps involved in arriving at an essay for the selected topic. It is hoped that this will be beneficial for readers of the book and for those who are curious about it’s contents.
Pre-writing for UPSC Mains 2020-21 Essay topic ‘“Life is a long journey between human being and being humane”
Right off the bat, I use the Deconstruction technique and notice that the essay topic is fundamentally about 2 things- i:e ‘ human being’ and ‘being humane’. So Thing 1 is ‘Human Being’ and Thing 2 is ‘Being humane’.
As I deconstruct the relationship between T1 and T2, I realize that the relationship between T1 and T 2 is that one of them is supposedly the culmination of the other across the journey of life.
I made a note of this relationship (R) between T1 and T2 without imputing any judgements or jumping to pre-conceived notions about what it all means. I then use STRUCUTRED BRAINSTORMING techniques to generate some points about T1 and T2 as illustrated in my Rough-work sheet below-
I use the 12QC technique to generate these points which helps me activate the relevant networks of my knowledge network in order to obtain the best ideas. I then highlight negative and positive sounding words as suggested by Structured Brainstorming and 12 QC techniques. This makes me realize that this essay topic crisscrosses over many debates and issues such as Biology, environment, psychology, Ethics etc.
The next step was to understand the essay topic right down to its core. So I drilled down into the relationship between T1 and T2 using the 4Q method. This gave me a deeper insight about the various dimensions to be covered while addressing the essay topic about ‘being human’ and ‘being humane’.
I realized that this topic is essentially another variation of an age-old debate between Biology and Ethics. It also undercuts the debate between lifespan development and the evolution of Ethical behavior in humans since the Relationship(R) speaks of life as a journey from being human to being humane. I note these keywords under T1 and T2 for use later on.
This is where the ESSELGO (Essay Generation Algorithm) method is introduced. The ESSELGO is a powerful and universal template for tackling virtually any essay topic under the sun. As a side note, ALL the essay topics in the UPSC Mains 2020 Essay paper can be deconstructed in to T1 and T2 perfectly and beautifully written about using the ESSELGO method.
I begin by using the 4Q2 method to construct an impactful introduction and make a schematic for the same in the Rough work space. Here, I make sure to gain clarity about the crux of the essay topic and begin to give my arguments some structure.
The listed keywords provide a lot of content ideas and insights about the topic which I listed under the appropriate category on the right side of the page which constitutes the IRW (Intelligent Rough Work) technique for pre-writing and Rough-work as shown in the image below.
Next, I move on to generating points and arguments using the BGInS Cheat Code as prescribed by the ESSELGO method. To do this, I use the keywords generated during Structured Brainstorming which proved quite helpful in covering the various dimensions associated with this topic. These arguments and points provide further structure to the body of the essay which I will use while writing the main essay.
The ESSELGO and BGInS method inspired in my mind, a good way to structure this essay. Which would be to talk about what happens when human beings are not humane and then to talk about what happens when they are, to contrast the resulting worlds from these 2 value-stance and then conclude with a way forward.
After extensive use of BGInS and various other Cheatcodes, I use the SCoReF method to produce a positive and optimistic conclusion about the future and highlight the mechanisms which can be used to resolve the issue between human-ness and humane-ness before putting the debate to rest.
Here is the resultant final essay borne out of all the above:
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LIFE IS A LONG JOURNEY BETWEEN HUMAN BEING AND BEING HUMANE
The ‘wise ape’ or homo sapiens as human beings are appropriately called are complex creatures. This is because to be a human being means much more than being a biological species amongst other species of organic life. To be a human being means to be a biological, social, economic, emotional, spiritual and a moral being simultaneously.
However while all humans are morally responsible agents, not all humans are humane beings which implies correct moral action and motive on behalf of the agent. A humane being, therefore, is a morally-driven being which is not always the case with homo sapiens.
It is no coincidence that most if not all major religions of the world have stressed upon the primacy of ethical behavior. From the theory of Karma entrenched in Hinduism and Buddhism, to the idea of forgiveness and compassion of Christ, the message is simple and clear- Be good to one another. Be more than human and strive to be humane. This message is strikingly relevant for today’s world given the supremacy of homo sapiens as the most dominant and impactful species on the planet. The fate of humanity and the planet may rest upon it.
Human beings possess a tremendous latitude of behavioral potential. Which is to say that they are moldable and flexible creatures capable of achieving god-like feats but equally capable of perpetrating great evil.
During World War 2, 6 million Jews were persecuted and systematically murdered in death factories, the most infamous of which is the Auschwitz concentration camps. Here, Jews were kept prisoner, robbed of their dignity and their lives by another group of homo sapiens who believed themselves to be superior. This incident remains forever embedded in our collective history as the most inhumane and terrible of episodes which demonstrates the potential of humans to be morally abhorrent beyond imagination. It stands as a testament to what happens when human beings fail to be humane beings.
The Anthropocene is the current era in Earth’s evolution according to geologists and climate scientists meaning the era of humanity’s impact. This means that the human civilization is impacting every aspect of the planets life-system immensely whether positively, negatively or consciously and unconsciously. Scientists estimate that human beings are responsible for the extinction of thousands of species and severe climate change which threatens the survival of countless other surviving species.
The rate at which Carbon emissions have increased resulting in an unprecedented increase in Global temperatures suggests that the impact of human beings on the planet will be severe not only for other species but for the future generations of human beings themselves. As the generation of people capable of stopping or reversing cataclysmic climate change, it befalls on the humans alive today to accept moral responsibility of their actions or inactions.
Despite of strong evidence to the dangers of climate change, world leaders and governments have failed to cooperate and take swift action. This inexplicable lack of motivation in the face of certain destruction, proves that intelligence alone is insufficient for survival or prosperity.
Despite it all, there are exemplars of ethical behavior amongst the species who are revered as saints for their selfless actions- Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, The Dalai lama to name a few. This proves beyond doubt that humans possess the potential to achieve exceptional levels of morality and compassion.
It follows that when human-ness and humane-ness combine in optimal proportions is when the most remarkable achievements of humans have come to be. These include godly feats such as splitting the atom, travelling through space, landing on the moon and uncovering the genetic code of life itself. The laws of physics determine how electrons are transmitted through power lines just as well as how much energy a 100 Megaton nuclear warhead will release upon explosion. These fundamental laws are known to humans and this knowledge gives them enormous but terrifying power. The knowledge of nuclear physics wrought the atomic bomb but also the Information revolution which has reshaped the world as we know it. The way in which this knowledge is used is what differentiates the merely human from the humane.
To be humane is to go beyond one’s limited ego-mind driven by short-term self-interests. The human being therefore, must do better and strive to become a humane being as a matter of survival, not merely as a matter of choice. Ethical behavior is not optional.
For the individual human being however, the journey to becoming humane is tempered by many factors and is not a one-time choice. Most factors which determine the ethical make-up of a person are strongly contingent upon their external circumstances such as ethical education, culture, role models and life experiences. The psychologist Lawrence Kohlberg’s stages of moral development lends strong support to the thesis that moral development or the journey from human to humane, is a life-long process. Being humane involves going through multiple stages or challenges where a child’s sense of right or wrong evolves towards more sophisticated as their intelligence and maturity grows. This process is overshadowed by the culture and overall milieu in which the child is reared.
What this implies is that morality is not set in stone. This is cause for jubilation and hope because that humans can use their intelligence to make themselves more compassionate, ethical and happier as a species. Humane-ness is teachable and learnable.
On the scale of individuals, the effort towards large scale change from human-ness to humane-ness must begin with the child’s developmental process where moral education should be imparted intelligently. Parents, schools and educational organizations should serve as playgrounds for ethical coaching and tutoring. A safe haven for the fruitful resolution of Kohlberg’s stages of moral development for the child until the highest stages of moral reasoning are achieved.
On the scale of communities and larger populations, insights from the field of Psychology and Behavioral Economics offer usable and actionable prescriptions for large scale behavior change. One such suggestion derived from research being that pledges, commitments and formal declarations of ethical conduct should be increased. This is because once formally committed, humans experience cognitive dissonance in not following through or breaking a promise made, thereby increasing the likelihood of ethical behavior. Similar research backed insights coupled with technological outreach have the potential for transforming entire communities of human beings into a global race of humane beings.
Homo sapiens are unique in that they alone have the mechanisms and potential to transcend their primal monkey-nature. They alone can access higher realm of values which include all living beings as being connected in a unity. And the realization that it is not intelligence but compassion which is fundamental to being human.
There is no human without the humane and life’s journey is an opportunity for every individual to discover this fundamental truth for themselves.
– Ravi Kapoor
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Debriefing and analysis:
The entire pre-writing/Rough work process took me about 30 minutes (including a bit of color-coding for your understanding). The final essay which followed, ended up being written in approximately 1 hour and has a word count of exactly 1169 words which is ideal for the UPSC Mains Essay paper. (Admittedly, I typed it whereas you would have had to write it on paper in the exam.Typing allowed me some editing and corrections but the quality of writing would probably have remained similar on paper vs keyboard)
The images have been interspersed to aid in your understanding of the various dimensions of the topic and to help you grasp the narrative of my arguments.
I hope this was beneficial to readers of the Ultimate Cheatbook who’ve been asking for this type of write-up as well for those who are curious about Essay-writing for the UPSC Mains Essay paper in general.
ASSIGNMENT: Answer the following lines in 200 words or less.
- What do you observe about the structure of this Essay? Does it seem to follow some kind of sequential structure? What could it be?
- How are the arguments structured? What effect does this have on the reader?
- How is language used to create impact? Notice points of maximum impact.
- Are analogies used? What effect did they have on you, the reader?
- How many facts and examples have been used? To what effect?
- How does the Essay maintain flow while reading?
- What did you learn from this Essay which you could use in your own?
- Is the Essay balanced in it’s opinions and arguments? What must you NOT do to disrupt this balance in your own essays?
This assignment is not me offering you a model essay to emulate. It is me putting myself in your shoes and going through the same motions, techniques and steps which you would and sharing my thought process along the way.
You may choose to approach the Essay in a different way. The valuable thing here is to pay close attention to how the Pre-writing leads to the final UPSC essay and to pick up useful insights where you can.
Tc, stay healthy and all the best for your preparations
Ravi Kapoor, IRS
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1. Structuring the topic before writing it is the best way to start. Yes it follows some kind of sequential structure and it could be the introduction about the T1 and T2 and about their merits and demerits.
2. Mix type of positive and negative arguments are structured in a proper manner and it effects an positive impact on readers.
3.Language impacted on describing how the humans nature are in the same society.
4.Essay maintains its flows with giving a good amount of examples related to the topic.
5. Having a good amount of relatable examples which can be used in the topic .
6. Yes the essay and arguments are balanced and to maintain the balance we must create a structure before heading to the topic.
1.According to me, the essay is well structured as it has three major parts—introduction, main body and a conclusion. It is really an excellent essay to read.
2.The arguments are well placed.
As a reader, I’ve enjoyed this essay a lot and definitely tried to learn from it.
3.The language of the essay is very beautiful, like a river it’s flowing.
4.Yes,analogies are used in this essay and using them beautifully and appropriately makes the essay more beautiful.
The language is not difficult, but good enough to make an impact on the reader.
5.Fact and examples are used properly here. As a result, the main point of the essay has become as clear as the daylight to the reader.
6.Beautiful language and sober writing took the responsibility of maintaining the flow of the essay.
7.I’ve learned how to write an organized essay,where all the points are arranged correctly
8.Yes, the essay is well balanced.
That’s a great essay structure! Starting with an introduction and building up to a conclusion helps keep the readers engaged. Using impactful language and analogies can make the essay emotionally compelling. Using facts and examples to strengthen your points is a great way to provide a comprehensive perspective. And maintaining flow with smooth transitions is key to keeping readers interested. It’s also important to consider opposing viewpoints and evidence for a balanced view. Keep up the good work!
This essay is structured sequentially, starting with an introduction and moving through discussions on ethical behavior, examples of inhumanity, human impact on the planet, and potential solutions. Each section builds on the previous one to reach a conclusion.
Arguments are logically structured, progressing from human nature to examples of moral behavior and then to solutions. This engages readers by presenting a clear narrative.
Language is impactful, especially in describing instances of inhumanity and the consequences of human actions. Analogies, like comparing humans to “primal monkey-nature,” help readers connect emotionally.
The essay uses various facts and examples, from historical events to scientific concepts, to strengthen its points and provide a comprehensive perspective.
Flow is maintained through smooth transitions and cohesive explanations, keeping readers interested and informed.
This essay teaches the importance of logical structuring, impactful language, and maintaining flow. It also presents a balanced view by considering both human failings and capacities for compassion and ethical behavior.
To maintain balance in one’s own writing, it’s crucial to acknowledge opposing viewpoints and evidence. Strive for a nuanced understanding of the topic and consider multiple perspectives.
T1 – explanation about human being, T2 Being humane ; explained simply and also about the relationship between them , about human life related to past (historical) events. Mindful , Tranquillity
Ship , sink
Simplicity, sophistication
Culture, history ; civilization
Economic, social
Technology, international relations.
The structure of the essay is excellent. The flow is like candy, I could not realize when I reached the next paragraph. Arguments are presented in a very proper way that deals with both positive and negative sides of the topic. It has a balanced impact on the reader. The language also seems formal and it carries a good impact on the reader.
You have used some examples of both sides of the topic positive and negative. You also used the fact that 2.6 million people died in the World War.
I learned how to give an impactful structure to my essay. It is balanced. I would write equal positive and negative sides.
1. Yes it does have the flow..as it is quite easily understood even though if it’s long this shows that essay is still in flow and arranged.
2.structured and effective.arguements are well placed.
3.Simple English…no glorification simple yet detailed.
4.Analogy is used.Gave idea about approchment . Beauty of lies within our hands.
5.From common society to technology.. beyond eyesight thinking.
6.bulls eye…on point.
7.Have common sense,as said the above topic relates and connect with ourselves and the society.And also essay shouldn’t be emotional instead practical or being emotional could sometimes ruin the topic,time …
8.opinion, argument,counter argument,necessary and sufficient logic used…
1. There is a conventional approach followed in the structure of the essay based on 4Q2 method with discussing diverse dimensions .
2. The arguments are structured in a sequential and natural manner which helps the reader to maintain the flow and helps to grab the subject matter easily.
3. The language in the essay is a big highlight which has given proper intensity and helped in stressing the main points.
4. The Analogies help in getting the point quite easily and brings clarity in understanding the arguments.
5. There is a reference to almost every argument which is a big take away for me as this helps the reader to get the idea of the whole point within seconds and have striking effect on the reader’s mind.
6. The flow has been maintained very nicely by being written in a sequential order from religious or historical points to contemporary references.
7. I have learnt quite a few things that I will try to keep in my mind always like- how to involve every aspect related to the topic and without breaking the flow, giving authentic references to every argument made , trying to focus on modern aspect more, etc.
8. Yes the essay was completely balanced and I believe that in order to not disrupt the balance , we must focus on giving ample arguments from every aspect rather than giving our opinions . Our approach should be flexible and not rigid and we should refrain from making repetitive arguments .
1. Yes it does have the flow..as it is quite easily understood even though if it’s long this shows that essay is still in flow and arranged.
2.structured and effective.arguements are well placed.
3.Simple English…no glorification simple yet detailed.
4.Analogy is used.Gave idea about approchment . Beauty of lies within our hands.
5.From common society to technology.. beyond eyesight thinking.
6.bulls eye…on point.
7.Have common sense,as said the above topic relates and connect with ourselves and the society.And also essay shouldn’t be emotional instead practical or being emotional could sometimes ruin the topic,time …
8.opinion, argument,counter argument,necessary and sufficient logic used…
1) Obviously introduction is following deconstruction techniques and brainstorming,4Q2 method is used here.
2) Arguments are well structured and shows both +ve and -ve sides.
3) Language os essay is absolutely well as proper words and phrases are used and no repetition is done.
4) Analogy has been used at right place in this essay.
5)It talks about all aspects from religion to human intelligence, climate change,WW2,Moral development.
6)Essay is written in smoothly way as with each paragraph one point is discussed.
7)I learnt while writing esaay i ,ll try to talk about every dimension social,economical,etc..and discuss one point with each para.
8) ofcourse essay is balanced and argument are well structured.I should focus on both sides of arguments while writing.
• the essay structure is mind blowing. It follows 4Q2 technique wich is clearly visible through some sentences like in the 1st para start with introduction of thing 1 & thing 2 separately. 2nd para talks aBout bad things- in this way follow the sequence
• it shows all aspects of our life like economic, moral, social, biological etc that’s why easily understandable
• uses of language maintain flow. Language is easy to understand. Some words like anthropocene, cognitive dissonance
• some examples are used properly like mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi etc. We get to know about Their humane nature.
• facts and examples are used extensively like kohlbarg’s theory, 2.6 billion Jews,increasing global temperature, 100 megaton nuclear warhead etc.
• while reading, it seems that one para is related to next one & words are related with each other.
• learn how to maintain the flow while writing. Learn the uses of examples and facts.
• yes in my opinion it is totally balanced in its arguments & opinions. Specially while we are reading the 2nd & 3rd para. I must not use unnecessary words, facts and diagrams.
The essay written by you is mind blowing.
Because firstly, you use the languages of the so formal way. There is not a single language which is out of the relevancy of topic.
Secondly, when you write the essay you maintain the structure given and taught by you to us that is introduction bad things good things indian things and should things also but the reader can determine it only after read the complete essay and the reader just don’t able to skip on reading.
Thirdly, the examples you used in your essay
So much strongly relevant in every point. And the examples are very practical oriented.
Fourthly, I think if some one wants to write a n impactable essay then out of follow this rule it not possible.
Specially the practical and impactable examples you are in your essay one must use this type of examples relevant to any essay topic.
From today I am trying to structured my essay writing like this and I know it is only comes through practice .
The Essay is worth the read. The effort deployed in writing the essay is very much evident. It is well balanced and shows the neutrality of the writer. I learnt that to write the essay in simple understandable language and structured presentation is very important. The examples listed makes a huge impact in absorbing the deeper meaning of the topic and this, I love the most.
1. this essay practically employed all the techniques taught to us overtime.
2. the flow and the command over the words, seemed enjoyable as a reader.
3. it never seemed drifting away from the core topic.
4. it was successful in grabbing and holding readers attention from the start till the end.
5. minimal repetition of words and effective argumentative style of the essay was endearing.
6. the use of real life example from India and world, made the point more impactful.
7. the balance of the arguments was well struck and the point of the 10nth argument came across well.
would myself keep practicing to reach this level of excellency.
The essay was well structured and introduction itself was able to make an impact on the reader. Essay has a sequence from introduction where both sides of the topic in short was evident.
Then smooth transition from introduction to body and every point in body. One point of the paragraph was leading to the other maintaining the flow. And examples was like cherry on the cake.
Use of words were very correct and accurate in establishing point or a fact. Use of comma and conjunction provided comfort to the reader.
Examples were taken from modern history to physics showing the understanding of topic.
Every point had one or two examples. The essay maintains flow through use of transitional words at correct place.
I have some of these points in mind while writing but lack of clarity of how to use them in the essay was a problem which I will improve and learn from this essay.
Yes, the essay was balanced in providing both negative and positive points to the reader.
Giving new points without justifying previous one completely.
Not to give much importance to one aspect and will try to balance it out.
1)BAD THINGS, GOOD THINGS,INDIAN THINGS,SHOULD THINGS,LOGIC,EXAMPLE,DATA.2) THE PESSIMISTIC VIEW OF THE TOPIC IS VIEWED, FOLLOWED BY ETHICAL POV & MEASURES TO PROMOTE THE DEMAND OF THE READER3) MY EXPECTION OF LANGUAGE USAGE IS VERY LOW AND AFTER READING THE ESSAY I WANT TO INCREASE THE USE OF VOCABULARY IN MY ESSAYWRITING.4)ANALOGIES HAVE WIDE IMPACT AS THEY BRING PRESENT DISASTERS IN ACCOUNT AND CONTEMPORARY VIEW OF THE PROBLEM, WITH MULTIPLE PERSPECTIVES5) 9 EXAMPLES ,WHICH EFFECT THE TECHNOLOGICAL,SCIENTIFIC POINT OF VIEW OF THE TOPIC,WITH MORE FOCUS OF MORALITY AND ALSO INCLUDES TRAGEDY OF THE PAST.6)LESS CONTRAVERSAL ,USE OF EXAMPLES IS THE BEST POSSIBLE WAY,THINK MORALLY.7) KEEPING VERY CLOSE TO THE POINT OF ESSAY AND TAKE THE COMMON HEAD RELATING TO IT AND WRITE THE ANSWER RATHER THAN FILLING 1000 WORDS .8) VERSATILE, AUTHORITATIVE,SHORT QOUTES ,PITHY (V.S.A.P) IS USED
1. All the techniques that you have told us has been used in very nice wayT1 & T2 , 12QC , L.E.D , BGIings .
2. This essay is able to convince and satisfied the reader’s demand .
3. The use of language is very effective this is what I wanna add in my writing but still unable to do so .
4. Analogy has been used at right place in this essay .
5. Each & every paragraph is correlating this is what every one’s want . This correlation of paragraph is maintaining the flow throughout the essay.
5. Use of example is the best possible way like World war , concentration camp , eminent personalities – Mother Teresa , Dalai Lama . Impact of human activity on the climate it’s icing on the gold .
6. Should not write unnecessary points just to complete 1000 words anyhow .
I observed the structure of essay thoroughly I know that you use the introduction first about topic and difference between t1 and t2 and then move into body part giving with suitable examples and finally move into the conclusion, it follows the 4Q method the arguments are good which the reader feels that the writer knows and understand better the topic with suitable examples and about biology,climate,environment etc the language used is simple which helps the reader get more comfortable analogies are used 7 facts and examples have used to understand well the topic the flow of the essay is fabulous interlinking with each and another sentence I learned how to use those techniques at which place should I used and flow of the structure the essay balanced the it’s opinions and arguments.
My takeaways: concentrate on flow of structure, giving more examples and arguments, practice more essays.
The structure of essay included 4Q2 method for introduction, BGInS for conclusion. Though the Indian element was not specifically included, the mentions of hinduism, buddhism, Mahatma Gandhi, concept of karma covered for it.
The arguments are structured in a very logical fashion. BGInS was followed through holocaust, examples of mother theresa, ethical education of children. The language used is very deft. For example, “To be humane is to go beyond one’s limited ego-mind driven by short-term self-interests”- such sentences dove point home.
Analogies of aushwitz camp to represent evil, Kohlberg’s stages of moral development for ethical education were very impactful.
Examples and facts are used extensively. In addition to those mentioned above, “splitting the atom, travelling through space, landing on the moon and uncovering the genetic code of life itself”, “Laws of physics on how electron moves” are some other examples used.
The essay also had a great flow which culminated in a good conclusion.
My takeaways are how keywords were used with BGInS, how the beauty of language can be used to enhance these ideas in prewriting.
The essay was very balanced. Careful brainstorming in prewriting that includes multiple dimensions goes a long way in maintaining the balance.
Nice interpretation
• This essay is well structured through three broad components- Introduction, body and Conclusion/ Way forward.
• The introduction gives fair idea about what to expect from the main content. The body of the Essay is multidimensional, it discusses ethical, spiritual, historical, geographical and psychological aspects of the given topic. Such structuring of the arguments makes reader believe that the writer has holistic understanding of the topic.
• Language is lucid and yet impactful. For instance – “This inexplicable lack of motivation in the face of certain destruction, proves that intelligence alone is insufficient for survival or prosperity.” “To be a human being means to be a biological, social, economic, emotional, spiritual and a moral being simultaneously.”
• Yes, analogies have been used and they have made the explanation comprehensive as well as unique.
• Examples have been used wherever needed. Like the example of Holocaust, Global Warming etc.
• Essay maintained the flow by putting interlinked ideas one after the other.
• I learnt multidimensional exploration and will use this in my own Essay.
• The essay is quite balanced in its opinions and arguments. In order to not disrupt this balance, one should be wary of advancing to judgments straightforwardly as it would lead to reproduction of opinions.
About the while structure and its various parts
1) specifying relationship between things/main issue of the topic. focuses on human achievements and the technical advancement can be utilised and saved from misuse
In conclusion, everything is dealt with alertness and no unnecessary quotes were included
2) All the arguments which were presented were easy to understand and had an underlying logic and base,which aptly broke down every concept in an easy way,making it convincing
3) The words used were elaborate and often helped to bridge certain gaps as well
4) Quite good examples were used,which made it look catchy and interesting as well.
How the whole write up was written in paras,really gave it an embellished effect
5)The essay has a good flow. However,there were certain times,where the write-up suddenly went from one topic to another,so although it wanted to convey a message, it all turned out to be abrupt
varied dimensions have been explored.From each viewpoint it is covered completely,thereby making a neutral stanced version
The structure of the essay is very concise and well-knitted. All the examples and facts were presented with good number of words so as a reader I found all the points were completly covered. Also, the topic was discussed on all the dimensions, right from historical to psychological with decent instances that may be all can relate to and hence as a reader one will be connected to the essay till the very end. What I loved about the language was that the language is used in simpler form hence comprehending the esaay is easier. As a reader I can see that the content is prioritised over the language. When I wrote the essay on the same topics, I remember I didn’t complete my examples and facts very well, which I realised only when I sat back with my essay after the assignment. There were so many good examples but I was unable to embrace it wholly and hence my reader may not have understood the point I was trying to make and that was one of the feedbacks on my essay.
1. This eassy is well structured, containing t1 and t2 and maintaing the relation between them.
2. The argument structured is amicable and makes a person to read and creates interest .
3. Simple language is used which makes it easier to read and understand.
4.yes analogis are used.
5.Very good Examples are used eg: mother Teresa, Gandhi ji etc
6.The essay is precise and clear.
7.I understood how to maintain the flow and provide examples and the most important examples which will be actually useful.
8.Essay is well structured.
1 :- The structure of essay is sequence and impactful from introduction to conclusion.
2:- The argument are well structured and very attractive.No repetition.
3:- Language is simplicity but efficient and vital role for essay .
4:- Yes, analogies is used to show people who are being humane. examples:- Mahatma Gandhi,Dalai Lama ,Mother Teresa , Nelson Mandela,A.P.J Abdul Kalam ,etc.
5:- Facts and examples are used in esaay paper like panacea and a strong influence.
6:- Essay format are constantly flow and examples is numerous vital.
7:- Structure is essential and maintaining the flow while writing.
8:- Yeah,the essay is fascinating and well balanced.All examples are adequate for esaay and last thing structure is well effluent and picturesque.
Structure : It follows the structure of defining the relationship between thing 1 and thing 2. Then, it goes on to point about bad things about being human and how humaneness overcome this. Similarly, it focuses on achievements of human species and how our technological superiority could be misused without the humane dimension.
In conclusion, it provides resolvable solution to the conflict between being human and being humane.
Structure of Arguments: The arguments have all the components of Logic, data and examples. It is convincing.
Language: The words are used to bridge the gap between contrasting ideas of human ness and humaneness.
Facts and examples: Almost all the paragraphs have a fact or example accompanying them to convincing effect.
Flow: The essay in general manages flow. However, at points in the Dimensional analysis like when jumping from genomics of Jews to environmental harm, the shift seems to be without any flow.
Learning: Psychologist Lawrence Kohlberg’s Stages of Moral development
The essay is balanced because all the parts have been thought on before in the form of rough work. Also, varied dimensions have been explored.
In order to avoid mistakes, we need to think in terms of Essel go technique.
1. The essay structure is in sequential manner. first para defines human being(t1) , second humane being(t2), third tells the relationship followed by some negative examples where humans failed to be humane then some positive examples, and at last a way forward.
2. arguments are structured as described above and each argument has a solid example.
3. language used is simple , easy to understand. also i have learned some new words like anthropocene, culmination etc
4. yes analogies are used. it help the reader to understand the point more clearly.
5. many facts and examples are used like carbon emmission, kohlberg theory, jews exploitation, etc
6. Each para is short and to the point,infact each para show different point.
7. i will make sure to find examples of both positive and negative points. i will tr to think about some theory related to the essay topic.
8. essay is balanced as the balance between science of arms and humane is highlighted, a balance with environment is highlighted.
thank you
Essay is in order : Introduction, Body, and Conclusion.
Systematic presentation of arguments, with a pre intro.
The essay relates with core issue. No unnecessary use of any quote.
Examples and comparisons have been used, for e.g. Auschwitz camp, philosophies, Inspirational individuals, climate change, nuclear bomb, etc.
Examples and argument are well placed within paragraphs. Also language used is simple yet strong.
A big picture with past, present and future is shown.
Contemporary effects and causes that human beings has brought to this planet.
The essay was covering every dimension with the super flow in it. it was easily understandable with great matter. there wasn’t any high level vocab been used which made it easy to read and didn’t bored me. when I was reading it, I could find out that, whatever you taught us, either its about introduction or body building or conclusion, the essay was a complete example of how to put those all in one essay and present a easily readable interesting and well structured essay covering every dimension regarding the topic without breaking the flow. Moreover the arguments used in the essay were put with a balance which didn’t had compelling nature.
While I read the essay I find that it is finely and well written structured which I had seen in earlier lessons and assignment, I came to know how one can corelate the different example and facts in good way.
All the mentioned argument are arranged in such a way that holds the reader in surrounding the topic and help to relate all the given arguments perfectly related to the crux of the topic.
During reading I didn’t feel something unexpected or boring. I I find it so interesting.
Language and choosen keyword are really impactful.
Appropriate amount of facts & examples has been used which is helpful to understand the fact in clean and clear sense, and where it effect negatively and some where positively.
The flow of the essay is superb but I confused when I mention negative point and when positive point so that it reflect the favor and against to the topic in appropriate manner because I can’t make clarity where and how you have done this.
Being human then will be
satisfied when you become truly humane being in exact sense.
I have discussed above only that I found more favor or say importance then against, it is really hard to me to make equal comparison of favor and against to the topic.
1. This eassy is well structured.
2. The argument structured is very attractive, when the reader start to read this eassy, they can’t stop themselves to read the whole eassy .
3. The language of the eassy is used by simple manner.. That’s why everyone can understand the soul of the eassy.
4. Use of facts and example at proper place.
5. Impactful words is a good way of making your point stand out
This essay is a well defined example as required by UPSC.
It starts with Deconstructing and then introducing the 2 terms T1 and T2 .Then their relationship and its significance is described.
Also the structure and flow of essay remains sequential.
Examples used are very powerful to explain the topic. Like the Auschwitz one.
Also arguments and counter argument are used in balanced form. If negative points are described then positive side of the topic is also illustrated beautifully.
Also the essay throws light on many dimensions of the topic i. e. psychological, biological, time phase etc. which is a good quality.
No extra quotes or fancy language is used.
1 Essay follows a proper flow. Various techniques like deconstruction, BGInS, and others are used.
2 Arguments have a proper flow. The reader is finding clarity in the arguments whether they are in support of or opposition.
3 Language is quite clear with no grammatical error.
4 Yes, WW2, environment, and others. The reader would form an opinion that the writer has holistic knowledge.
5 WW2, Climate change, Mother Teresa, and others
6 Flow is maintained by demarcating the paragraphs for arguments.
7 Pre-writing and flow have to be maintained properly.
8 Yes. Dont be biased towards one opinion, we need synthesis.
1 The writer has followed the structure of Thing1 and Thing2 strong arguments made with logic for and against the topic with true situation.
2 Arguement has been perfectly defined and elaborated on the essay topic .
3 The language is used in simple and goes with a deeper understanding.
4 The analysis been made to sho6and understand the meaning of being human to being humane .
6 while reading the reader cane across different topics but it seems it continuing with the same line .Essay to understand the flow of changing arguments and topics.
7 Learnt many valuable things Hiw to write on the different topics on a advance level in simple and understanding sentences.
8 Yes it balances its opinions and arguments. So i will expand my thoughts which focus on world wide matters instead of local matters and with realistic thinking and values .
1 -The essay follow a well good structure.Explanation of t1 and t2 are very well explained with strong points.This essay is in sequence order and it had covered religious,climatic, geographical and children thoughts in proper way.
2 – Arguments are structured in sequence which attract reader to read this essay.
3 – Due to it’s convenient language anyone can read this essay and easily understand every meaning of it.
4 – Yes,analogies are used for n an effective way which make a strong lines.
5 – Examples like Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi, World War 2 , Climatic Change,Lawrence Kohlberg have been used for this essay .
6 – Essay is well structured in sequential order which makes attractive for reader to read this essay.
7 – Firstly this essay explains T1 and T2 in very well and good structure then language is very easy to understand it’s meanings and the examples used in this essay makes more easy to understand and relate to it.Also,an essay should cover all aspects of topic.
8 – Yes,it is well balanced.Use of quotes should be avoided and lines should be clear in understanding,it should not be confusing.
1.Structure of this essay is well furnished and sequential. Both the positive and negative sides have been explained very well and lately a balanced conclusion is made.
2.Good arguments and counter arguments have been made in very comprehensive way to substantiate the matter.
3.Essay is written in very impactful language. Irony and metaphors are extensively have been used.
4.Analogies have been used very nicely to explain the relationship between T1 and T2 which is very easy to comprehend.
5.Examples of WW2,Climate change, Great personalities like Mother Teresa, M.Gandhi etc, Psychologist Lawrence Kohlberg have been nicely used for the conceptual comprehension .
6.This essay contains a well sequential flow which is very attractive.
7.The qualities are as follows-furnished structure, very fine flow and language, nice examples, well comprehensive, nice arguments etc.
8.Yaa,this essay is very well balanced.Irregular flow and structure, deviation from the actual matter and less comprehensive language are the things which every must prevent to do.
The essay was well structured and have a god connection within the points.
The use of strong arguments makes the essay more attractive.
The usage of simple language make it easy to understand
Analogies are used
Facts and examples are used for the clarity of every argument
The connection between each point gives a flow to the essay
The way of presenting an argument along with suitable examples.
The essay was a well balanced one.
1. This eassy is well structured.
2. The argument structured is very attractive, when the reader start to read this eassy, they can’t stop themselves to read the whole eassy .
3. The language of the eassy is used by simple manner.. That’s why everyone can understand the soul of the eassy.
4.yes analogis are used.
5.good example and facts are use which make this eassy more presentable.. Examples are – mother Teresa, Gandhi ji etc
6.the flow of the eassy excilent and clear way.
7.i learned how to create flow and give frequent and how to put the examples in the proper place.. But sentence making of each and evey line i could use in my own.
8.yes , the eassy is well balanced.
• The essay follows a structure. Thing 1 and Thing 2 are well explained. Strong arguments are used which compels reader to believe what is written in the essay.
• Arguments are structured in a well defined manner. Strong arguments have been used.
• The language used is quite simple. Reader can easily understand what the writer is trying to say. Use of metaphors and quotes have been avoided.
• Analogies are used. This makes the essay effective and worth to read.
• Examples and facts of present and past has been used extensively. The example of Jews during World War 2 and the example of climate change covers both past and present.
• A proper flow is maintained. One can relate Introduction to the body and body to the conclusion. Starting from the explanation of “Human being” and “Being Humane” to the examples , facts and stats and finally the conclusion all correlate with each other.
• I’ve learned that Strong and effective arguments must be used while writing an essay and the cheat code LED should be followed to enhance the body of the essay. Analogies should be used. Flow must not be disrupt while writing an essay.
• The essay is perfectly balanced. We should not include metaphors and quotes because it makes the essay complicated. Also proper flow should be maintained while writing an essay.
The structure of essay was well established and well connected with each other. It starts with explanation of Thing 1 Thing 2 , and cover various perspective , such as Temporal , spiritual , Impact of topic on Environment and Geography as it is totally responsible for our healthy life .Then the positive side of it , how we can make world happier by looking good side.
The structure of argument is impressive .Reader can’t stop him by reading next paragraph and it is also hard to them to argue against these argument, As Arguments are universal in nature.
The Language is easy , understandable and also impactful in whole essay , specific terms are used which can easily influence reader.
There are various facts and examples are used which is hard to counter .
There are various things for me to learn from this essay :-
1. How to use balanced argument in essay.
2. Use of various perspective in interlinked way.
3. How to built a fantastic essay by using simple but impactful words.
4. Use of facts and example at proper place.
The essay was totally balanced in its opinion and argument.
Optimal use of said techniques and cheat codes applied here for structured and multi dimensional essay writing, like you do. Coherent and lucid arguments covering wise aspects of HumanNess. I noticed in order to deliver the best you must pre-write and conceptually keyword the core of the issue, so to resolute if possible. You designed your essay with rich interconnecting networks of knowledge points with appropriate analogies of various subject matter. Include past-present relevant events in a contemporary style so to fulfill the need of inclusive writing. And must balance the contentious topic by articulating the experience of critically examining the topic effectively and thorough impactful argumentation, that creates a impressions in the readers mind about your text. I learned a lot about the low hanging fruits which I surely can bear with Practice and guidance.
And thank you very much sir for your immensely valuable effort.
Here are my observations:
-The introduction is really powerful in which the author has established relationship between the ask in the topics and elaborating it.
-In the body part the author has talked about religion and its connection with Being human . Also examples have been incorporated with respect to society during world war 2, from the geographical perspective ,biological perspective. Four to five examples has been used here
-Arguments are based on the contrast showing what human being has done or is doing which is wrong and how the trait of being humane has done good in the world.
-The usage of powerful one-liner sentences is statement in itself .
-Quoting actual user adds weightage to the essay for sure.
-Impactful words is a good way of making your point stand out.
-However I felt that there are some sentences which are not clear enough
“Being humane involves going through multiple stages or challenges where a child’s sense of right or wrong evolves towards more sophisticated as their intelligence and maturity grows. This process is overshadowed by the culture and overall milieu in which the child is reared”
What you mean by sophistication , could mean something else for me and I think that needs explanation here. Also I think the second sentence should be the process has overshadowed the culture. Not sure if that is what is meant here
– Thank you for sharing the essay. I really enjoyed reading it and learned a lot!
Using deconstruction technique ,Essay starts with easy to understand definitions of both T1 and T2, then relationship between two is defined well. Using brainstorming techniques essay body is well sorted out in various paragraphs denoting to different dimensions. This points out to the wise application of dimension techniques like 12QC, ESSELGO. Essay doesn’t loose its grasp over the heart of the topic and coherence is followed throughout an essay. To prove an argument logical approach with example is used like data of 6 million victims of persecuted. Essay is crisp and to the point without any high jargon thus thoroughly comprehensible.
Yes this essay is in a structural way.
In this Essay brainstorming is used and Using of STEPPE and talk about various aspects like political… Etc.
There are some facts as well as examples are given. Like jews death factory and. And talk about climate change.
And used language are also simple so any reader can understand easily.
In the last I will say, from this essay I consider that using of brainstorming and STEPPE is very important to light on essay topics.
• The essay has followed the proper structure from the beginning till the end. All the method and elements have been properly used in sequence as it was taught.
• The arguments are well structured with proper examples. Approaching with example could make the reader to understand the content the way we express.
• The language directly expresses the thought of the writer. It can be quite easily understandable. With examples it is expressed well.
• The analogies express the importance in the essay.
• The facts and current effects as example help in understanding what the writer wants express in the essay.
• Each paragraph links with one another in flow and structured way, which keeps connected throughout the essay.
• The use of example first and then the concept explained, and the flow throughout the essay, are what I would use in my one.
• Essay is balanced in its opinions and arguments. Proper understanding of the essay topic and its core could not lead to imbalance of the essay. This could help in proper deliverance of the content.
This lesson and assignment helped me to understand how a complete essay can be written with the knowledge we acquired and use it for an essay writing.
The content of the essay is baller. It has less repetition of words and it has LED logic, examples, and data. All right from the introduction to the conclusion seems to be written in a flow and in a lucid manner. It clearly depicits the transition from human being to being humane. There is a perfect balance of examples and facts used for positive aspects of the essay and also for the negative aspects of it. The essay is well structured and so it prevents the reader from getting bored. All the techniques like deconstruction, ESSELGO, 12QC, STEEPE, LED, structured brainstorming are used togetherly to create a perfect essay.
I have learned a lesson of how essays can be structured by the use of various techniques. Pre-writing the points to be written in an essay gives you a clue and prevents you from deviating from the topic and enhances a self confidence and also about how to focus on the essay effectively.
1. The structure of the essay is perfect and it focuses a sequential manner explaining about the topic precisely.
2. The arguments are structured in a very good manner with examples and present issues relating to the topic. This helps the reader to understand easily and understand what writer wishes to express.
3. The language is simple and attractive.
4. Analogies helps in understanding the topic clearly from both perspectives. In this essay being human and being humane is understood clearly by using analogies.
5. World War 2, climate change, Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, Dalai lama, Lawrence Kohlberg’s.
6. The essay has relevant examples and very good flow that when it moves to next paragraph it seems to be like the continuation of the paragraph.
7. I learnt a lot from this like how to write an essay in a flow and with some suitable examples and how to use different methods in each stages of the essay to make it more perfect. I want to make use of everything I learnt from this essay.
8. This essay is perfectly balanced with both sides merits, de-merits and arguments.
The structure of essay is very good and has a sequence and points are cohesive to one another.
Arguments used are very well balanced and explain each and every direction of essay like social ,economic,philosophical.
Language is very simple and easier to understand with impactful use of words makes essay attractive,mesmerise the reader.
Analogies used gives each and every concept of essay so that what asked can delievar smoothly.
Facts and examples such as world war, theories of Mahatma Gandhi,Mother Teressa etc flourish essay with fruitful toppings.
Flow is just smooth like silk ,all points are continuos without any break.
I really learned a lot from this essay like prewriting, use of arguments and examples with good flow and structure which i lacked in my essay .
Yes the essay is very well balanced
Assignment:
Observation of the essay based on my understanding.
(1) The essay is smoothly and perfectly structured based on the given topic with appropriate and understandable example.
(2) The argument used in the essay was valid and impactful in the minds of the reader to understand the whole picture.
(3) The language used in the essay is well defined with simplicity with some unique and technical vocabularies and words.
(4) The analogies used the essay was perfectly written with the influencing base strong lines.
(5) The fact that struct immensely in the minds of the reader was Mother Teresa and Mahatma Gandhi example with support the structure of essay to understand the depths.
(6) The flow of the essay was written perfectly based on pre writing, deconstruction on the beginning and also expressed generously.
(7) The Goal of learning something from the essay was the well planned and thought of the essay which justified the reader giving an fabulous understand of essay not leaving any suspense behind.
(8) The essay was definitely balance in both the argument and opinion with detailed line to line impression and expression which only needs an attentive concentration of readers to fell the depth of the topic.
Each and all sentences are connected with each other and written in sequential format. It is a nicely elaboration of the topic.
There is neither only negativity nor positivity in an essay. It is balanced argument. The argument made in such a way that no one questions it. And it also comprises current situation. Ex. Jews
It is written in beautiful manner. Less repetition of words and short and meaningful sentences.
Yes, there is a use of analogies so reader can easily understand what exactly writer want to say.
Mainly 2 examples used in it, WW2 and Mother Teresa like figures. It shows that you are aware with real world that what is been done around you.
Firstly, it shows the meaning of deconstructed words and relations between them. Secondly, real life example and think as geologist. Next is about how combination and disruption of human and humane affect world. Further it shows view of psychologist. And in the last it has a conclusion of an essay. In summary, it maintains a flow in a well manner so reader easily convince with your view.
I learn how to maintain flow, use of similar words, connect current affairs with essay and very special how to argue.
Yes, essay is perfectly balanced in its opinion. It covers global views. So, I will try to expand my view and thoughts which focus on worldwide occurrence instead of local issues.
1.the essay is well structured and yes,it follow asystematic intro-body-conclusion structure.
2.arguements are are structured in a logical manner with good examples and data.
3.impressive language is used
4.yes analogies is used which create an impact on reader ,such as human-ness and humane-ness combine in optimal proportions
5.facts and examples used like WW2 and mother teresa, Mahatma Gandhi,etc
6.flow in essay is an extreme level because the arguements and examples are well placed
7.i learn a huge from this essay ,everything is so good that i do not take risk to left anything
8.yes, essay is well balanced because all aspects of essay like human being ,being humane and life journey covered in holistic manner
1. The structure of the essay is quite balanced and sticks to the topic. It seems like the essay is following the importance of humaneness in most of the structure.
2.Arguments drawn and well-argued covering all aspects. The essay inspires the reader from the examples of great people and makes the reader realize his duties as well for climate change and moral responsibility for the environment and climate change.
3. Language plays a vital role here and the essay is written in a simple decent language and contains powerful & impactful words.
4. The analogies in this essay helping to highlight the main points.
5. Holocaust, Anthropocene, Climate change were used to highlight the impact of humans on the planet and the need to be humane. But, the impression was the reference to psychologist Lawerence Kohlberg’s stages of moral development.
6. Essay was well structured and there was cohesion between paragraphs. It maintained flow: as arguments were well-places in an orderly fashion.
7. Yes, the essay is very much balanced in its approach and equally balances views on both the FOR and AGAINST. Instead of taking a stand on any one side, giving a wider view and trying to cover all possible dimensions can lead to a better-balanced essay.
The entire essay deals with things more on the moral, ethical, spiritual side the challenge is to take the reader on a journey on the said aspects by using examples and analogies that are simple yet impactful and structuring it in a way that would not disturb the overall theme
The introduction itself makes clever use of the point of views obtained from the brainstorming techniques and it becomes the basement for the arguments and analogies that will be followed
Overall flow of the essay tells the transition of humane beings into humane beings which is the crux of the question and this is done by breaking down the argument and providing analogies based on real time historical examples thus creating a way to insert the STEPPE Dimension without disturbing flow. Use of Auschwitz incident, environmental issues are examples that are simple yet very impactful to the topic.
These examples were focused on the negative side of the argument now a transition has to happen to make the leap from negative to the positive aspect, this was done to maintain the flow and also to make it pleasurable and inviting for the reader. An abrupt transition can be made but this idea is more refined and it helps the reader connect with the writer.
Then comes the positive aspect, again the STEPPE method used in the introduction was elaborated. The entire essay is structured in to stay close to the topic quite literally.
Pre writing and the use of all the cheat codes will basically give structure to the essay, examples must be given in a way that would supplement the structure and not use of simple example might give this effect
The key takeaway for me is pre writing and mastering the techniques that were taught, structure and overall flow is the part I am weak at
1) The flow of this essay is in sequential manner.It covers
everything in an order.
2) Argument are structed in a good way.It gives us the right glimpses.
3)language used is also simple in a quite understandable way.
4)yes . It helps us
5)good examples are explained in this essay.
6)The flow depicts the essay view in clear way.
7)I learnt about the language to be used, flow maintenance and giving proper examples.
8)yes.The essay is well balanced.
This essay is going though three components
Introduction is simple nd defination based how human being is different from other species with use of term” wise ape”
it is well structured ,as reader I felt your good understanding of the given topic,used multidimensional in the body of the eaasy such as history, geography , ethical , spiritual
Language is moderate to simple
esaay maintained flow, interlinked with each other aspects
some points mention here are made the essay very attractive to reader as well as evaluator ..for instance kolhberg theory of moral development, Intelligence alone should not sufficient but alos need compassion
yes It’s balanced nd I didn’t write eaasy so for
I learnt.. First I need to develop content, multidimensional knowledge,flow of the eaasy
1) Yes it contains sequential structure as it cover introduction, body conclusion in systematic way.
2) Argument is structured very well as it contains examples to specify the statement. 3) Multiple facts and examples are used and is logical like led 6 million.
4) language used is very well as it contains some short and some long sentences with proper punctuation and looks very attractive.
5) Yes it helps to understand the essay very well.
6) short sentences and way of explaining the essay created the flow.
7) I learned how to create flow and give frequent examples.
8) Yes this essay is totally balanced and precise in all aspects. I should create flow in essay which you have create in the essay.
• The whole structure of essay is in ethical form. That is, there is a main focus or priority to the ethics only other STEPP are not too much used, but pointed.
• The arguments are well structured, firstly there are considered the positive fact and at the end negative fact provided too. And again after the next paragraph the whole para is full of negative fact where it slightly turned to the positivity, which is brilliant with historical events, scientific and technological achievements too. That make positive impression on the reader.
• Highly standard vocabulary has been used and in anywhere make understood and reliable.
• The ‘Being humane’ and ethics are seems to be same used in all sense, i.e., being humane are considered to be the part of ethics functions or as characteristics.
The words are not too much repetitive, it used in accurate manner which make beautiful passage and have nice, freshly brewed content.
• Appropriate amounts of facts and examples have been used, it’s neither too much nor less.
The effect of these also focused on positive side but negative also.
• The flow of essay superb and fluent, present all the facts and events in the arranging order, disclose the historical, scientific and technological events and achievement.
• I learn from the essay writing that how we can maintain the essay from outer structure may be same but it’s inner structure describe or present in all way or direction which make essay beautiful, nice reading and sensible.
• The essay 99% balanced but the Indian thing missing and not present in a particular manner, then also rest of the arguments and opinions are well structured.
1. The essay is well structured with each dimension neatly completed and the essay follows the sequence Intro-body-conclusion.
2. Arguments are well stated and does not lead to any confusion on what is written.
3. Usage of simple language with impactful words – the best combination to write an essay and usage of proper syntax is conveying the meanings rightly.
4. Yes, analogies are used in the essay. They help in better understanding the contrasts that are present in the topic.
5. Facts and examples are used when required and are used to justify the arguments (LED method).
6. The flow is effortless and nothing pops up abruptly.
7. Structuring of essay and maintaining the flow while writing, which is very essential to keep the reader engaged without any confusion or boredom.
8. Yes, the essay is very much balanced in its approach and equally balances views on both the “FOR” and the “AGAINST”. Instead of taking a stand on any one side, giving a wider view and trying to cover all possible dimensions can lead to a better-balanced essay.
This essay is absolutely a sequential one which follows flow and structure properly and covers introduction, main body and conclusion in a systematic manner.
Arguments are structured evidently. These arguments are a great example of positive and logical approach.
Language used in essay is very impactful to readers.
Analogies are put very nicely that it can create highly desired impact to readers and helps them to understand the essay clearly.
Multiple logical facts and examples are used related to religious philosophy, global warming, climate change, nuclear bomb etc.
12QC method and rough work helps to maintain flow and structure appropriately.
I learned how to create a positive and logical arguments,maintain good flow and structure, give some adequate examples and conclude with a forward way.
Yes,this eassy is balanced in my point of view because it created a balance relationship among human being, being humane and life journey between these two.
1) Yes it contains sequential structure as it cover introduction, body and conclusion in a systematic way.
2) Argument is structured very well as it contains examples to specify the statements.
3) Language used is very well as it contains some short and some long sentences with proper punctuation and looks very attractive.
4) Yes it helps to understand the essay very well.
5) Multiple facts and examples are used and is logical like led- 6 million.
6) Short sentences and way of explaining the essay created the flow.
7) I learned how to create flow and give frequent examples.
8) Yes this essay is totally balanced in all aspects. I should create flow in essay which you have create in the essay.
1.There is a sequential structure of orderly ideas touching multitude of dimensions. Clear Intro , body , conclusion.
2.There is an argument that sets the premise followed by examples to substantiate the premise.
3.Lucid language , avoids jargon. Short sentences , Longer sentences have proper punctuations. I really liked the subheadings. LED structure
4.Analogies help the reader better understand the essay
5.Multiple facts & examples used ,LED – 6 million Jews , 100 megaton war head , also examples are analytical instead of emotional hyperbole. They make a logical point.
6.Short sentence & paragraphs help create a flow as that paragraph makes a specific point.
7. My takeaway To use subheading , make a proposition & then support it with examples , fact & illustrations.
8. Yes balanced . Every time being humane is referred its contrasted with being human.
How not to make it balanced – One must not stereotype or target a particular group / sect to keep it balanced. for ex – one must not write that During WW2 the German race was inhumane in killing the Jews. It was not the entire races fault , rather Nazis fault. Targeting & stereotyping or showing your own bias & prejudices will make it unbalanced.
Q. 1
Th1. Sting operation
. Secrecy
.mysterious truth
. Undercover
. Revealing the truth of corrupted officer
. Investigation
. Tehelka in 2001
Th2. Privacy
. Public right
. Freedom of citizens
. Revealing the truth
. Loss of privacy
. New Whatsaap policy
. Common people, environmental
. Leak of personal information
. People condemn suicide
. Careful about personal data
Q2
Th1. Human being
. Life
. Living organisms
. Civilization
. Basic rights
. Resources
. Art and rituals
. Connect from past
. Density
. Disturbance on ecology
Th2. Being Humane
. Humanity
. Kindful
. Greedyness
. Private association
. Helping
. Plant more trees
. Fighting together towards threats
. NGOs
. Palestine attack
. Qualitative life for everyone
. Never ending humanity
Q3
Th1. Power
. Authoritarian
. Maintaining peace
. Weakness
. System where group of people work
. Disrespectful for others right
. Immense greediness
. Nelson Mandela
. Father of nation MK Gandhi
Th2. Responsibility
. Doctor /front line worker
. Self dependent
.being punctual
.transparency.. .accountability
. Destruction of leadership
. Misuse of positions
. Political reality’s
.socially and mentally harm
. Leadership on responsible hands
My observations of the essay:
1. Yes it has structure. In fact more structure than I could imagine.
2. This is the structure which I could observe:-
a. Using the 4Q2 method, you made an impactful introduction. Here you first described human beings not just as a biological species, but the other finer details of how we are different than others. Then taking the line of morality you cued in the meaning of humane being.
b. Having established both things (1 and 2). You describe how its relationship is ideal and not true in all situations. In doing this, I believe the stage is set as to why both of these things are to be handled in the essay.
c. Prior to this you exercised the 12Q method to get whatever relevant data for a 360 degree approach. Once you had it on paper, now you decided the structure and order of the ideas.
d. You begin with marvelling at how different religious concepts have captured this idea of humane-ness. Then the positive things were attributed, followed by negative ones.
e. Which was summed up by the fact that there must be a balance between this human being and being humane.
f. You brought in proofs and observations as seen by psychology and proposed that it can be taught, and how so too.
g. This was concluded with the idea of sustainable development and that the stages of human emotion development happens throughout life and that is the journey which was provided for elaboration.
3. Each idea has been presented with an example. One example in the negative thing, in context of India which I would have added was the caste discrimination still prevalent in our society. Would that be a good idea?
4. “Either you plan or plan to fail”, as Benjamin Franklin had said. That is exactly what I learnt from your essay. That a decent order must be maintained for the ease of examiner.
5. In order to not disrupt the flow, I must never jumble one example after the other. It shows vision without direction. Thus planning what to write one after the other is the most important thing in a pen-paper exam as my chances of editing are nil. Plus too many criss-cross does leave a bad impact.
1.The structure of the essay is balanced and sticks to the topic. It seems like the essay is following the importance of humaneness in most of the structure.
2.Arguments drawn and well-argued covering all aspects. The essay inspires the reader from the examples of great people and makes the reader realize his duties as well for climate change and moral responsibility for the environment and climate change.
3.impressive language is used
4.yes analogies is used which create an impact on reader ,such as human-ness and humane-ness combine in optimal proportions
5. Holocaust, Anthropocene, Climate change were used to highlight the impact of humans on the planet and the need to be humane. But, the impression was the reference to psychologist Lawerence Kohlberg’s stages of moral development.
6. The flow of the essay was written perfectly based on pre writing, deconstruction on the beginning and also expressed generously
7.the essay is very much balanced in its approach and equally balances views on both the FOR and AGAINST. Instead of taking a stand on any one side, giving a wider view and trying to cover all possible dimensions can lead to a better-balanced essay.
8. Every time being humane is referred its contrasted with being human.
How not to make it balanced – One must not stereotype or target a particular group / sect to keep it balanced.
The essay is very well structured which include all the points like introduction ,body of the essay and conclusion. It is very informative and include all the aspect like psychology ,history which make it more interesting to read. The T1 and T2 are very beautifully identified and all the 12QC are answered before writing the essay. The language is very simple and crisp so, that everyone can understand it properly. The point of maximum impact are 1)No human without the humane 2)Ego-mind driven by short term and self interests. 3)Human being posses tremendous latitude behavioral potential. They are capable of achieving god like feat but equally of perpetration great evils. There are many facts and examples has been used like Victims of a concentration camp, The Anthropocene, Sculpture titled etc. I essay flow is very good and interesting Things I got from this essay
1)Simple language can be used to write great essays.
2)Many points and examples must be given in an essay.
3)We should interlink the different point mention in the essay.
4)I need to read a lot to write such essay
The essay was written in well structured as it provides introduction, conclusion, and the body of the essay was written in various dimension like it says about Homosapaines, about kolberys, psychology, economic and 12QC technique was used and the language was written in simple and well understood. It provides good examples such as ww2 incident in Jews and the fact about people like mother Theresa , mahatma Gandhi were used and the essay flow was good and it feels enjoyable to read the essay.
What I learnt from the essay was I should write the essay in various dimension and should write in simple language so the reader can understand and I think the essay is balanced well from my view point.
The essay follow a proper structure in the form of intro, body, then negative and the positive aspect and lastly a motivating and positive conclusion.
Arguments are very well defined touching a wide range of examples. it makes the reader touch all the possible zones of interlinking human and humane.
Language is very easy and impactful. From this, I learnt that with easy languages also one can write a creative and impactful essay.
There are analogies like great noble people eg like Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa and on the other side eg of hitler camp but I feel there is some scope of adding few.
I’m totally tensed and worried about my writing way by seeing at your immense examples. There are so relatable with my optional still I never thought of using them is such way. Hats off, Sir.
I don’t know any amazing word other then perfect to describe the flow of this essay. It’s just flowing like a peaceful water.
Firstly, I learnt that with simple language also one can write a great essay.
Secondly, the way arguments are put forward with the apt examples.
Thirdly, interlinking of many subjects like history, anthropology, polity.
We can use many examples from other subjects. This also shows our concept clarity.
The essay was totally balanced in all aspect. In my essay I feel that sometimes there is no flow, all of sudden a new topic or example pops up. So, I understand that one should maintain the proper flow to make it impactful.
1)The essay is well structured (has distinct: intro, body ,conclusion part). The body-part is further structured into: a)-ve of human b)+ve of human c)The analysis part with interlinkages b/w human-being and humane-being + current technology as example to substantiate the points d) suggestions (individual,community level)
2)The arguments have been well-placed (there’s no intermixing of arguments). Reader (as I) had following impacts: Arguments stayed longer in memory till the end of passage , the conclusions were having linkages with arguments (easily discernible), it helped in knowing that “writer” has enough understanding of topic.
3)Language used had multiple key-words and the words used had emotive-power. It was not easy to just do side-reading. There was lots of information …it was knowledge intensive writing .
4)Yes analogies are used (eg: politician , environment etc depiction). It made the arguments much stronger and clearer .
5)Many facts and examples are used … as is said: it was knowledge intensive essay(-ve side of human beings jews-incident , anthropocene, politicians , M Gandhi, M.Luther King , nuclear weapons , how human gets conditioned-its factors, the stages of knowledge MODEL and much more).
6)Essay was well structured and there was cohesion b/w paragraphs . It maintained flow: as arguments were well-places in an orderly fashion .
7)I personally never did full-essay practice till now. I have given many GS papers ,but not essay . I learned from essay that: we have to well explain each of our argument with lots of examples ……..To ESSELGO technique seems to work pretty good 🙂 .
8)The essay is balanced (as it considers various dimentions and considers both sides of a coin and finally concludes with knowledge gained from those points).
WHAT I SHOULD DO:—> TO BE CONFIDENT (at first) , to not repeat same arguments, build structure of body(prior) and consider all dimensions of the essay .
THANK YOU SIR 🙂
The essay was simple to read, had easy to relate to common parlance examples as well as some extra knowledge which shows the effort put in.
The arguments are structured highlighting the contrast between T1 and T2 and go from critique to positives, keeping a balanced approach.
The language used is mostly simple, non flowery nor too abstract with some enriched vocabulary, which shows the writer is well read and wants to convey a message effectively.
The points of maximum impact- examples where contrast is drawn on what happens when human beings are human vs non humane; a deduction from climate change inaction that intelligence alone is not the answer for prosperity or survival; non negotiables, scope for improvement etc.
The analogies used like Prosecution of Jews makes the reader self reflect and question on the power of an individual and society to stand against wrong doing, populist decisions. Also the need for action to not let inhumanity prevail through proactive actions. The essay also weaves another identity of religious belief of karma and the need for compassion.
Not a lot of facts or numbers are used however more examples have been used to clarify what the writer wants to say in a Elucidated fashion.
In my view, Essay flow is mostly building up from a collective to individual level. In one paragraph the change seemed a bit abrupt, for most part the essay is woven well with seperate topics arranged neatly in paragraphs – climate change, Technology, Ethical behaviour factors, morality, solutions to promote and support the conclusion.
I have learnt that a lot may be lost in translation, less is not more and brevity may not be as impactful as systematic brainstorming and weaving in the deconstructed ideas keeping in mind the reader.
The Essay is balanced in it’s opinions as it has used contrast, rational arguments, detailed comparisons and examples to support why it is necessary to have humanity as a part of human beings and what happens without it.
To not disrupt a similar balance in my essays, I find it imperative to practice everyday and read to learn how to build better structure and flow.
*Introduction gave a brief about the what is coming in the essay and it smoothly explained the relation between human being and being humane
*The essay followed a very logical structure covering -Religious-Historical -Political-Social -Environmental -technical-psychological and ethical aspects
*Both positives and negatives Arguments are produced.It gave the reader a 360 degree approach to the topic
*Essay language is lucid and is also impactful with usage of words like altruism,compassion,anthropocene,human-ness,humane-ness
*there are impactful analogies-concentration camps,personalities.they added support to the writer arguments
*around 5 facts.they were appropriate and useful.they didnot made the essay cumbersome .they were just right.
*The essay was easy and smoothly flowing covering every related aspect mentioned in T1 and T2 .This gave intrest to reader to expect what is coming next.It also covered the age and evolution aspect which gave further coverage of topic
*I learnt there is no need for massive facts,quotes .Focus should be on flow and points of essay should be revolving around the topic.for this i learnt how 4Q2 and T1,T2 methods can be adopted
*yes it balanced as it gave arguments and supporting examples for both postives and negative sides of human,For not disrupting one’s balance in essay arguments and counter arguments should be equally given and to maintain 360 approach for the topic
1. It start with a nice introductiom, followed by a body, which tends to prove several aspects of human nature like compassion, love, respect etc by providing various examples, it also talks these qualities on various sphers of human society and at the end, it ended with optimistic conclusion
2. Arguments in the body of the essay, are structured to prove the essentiality of values in humans by providing various examples, and introspecting it on various spheres of life
3. Use of examples like concentration camps, and lines like morality is not set in stones, provides a solid as well as Empathic touch to the essay
4. Use of famous public figues like
Dalai lama, Mahatma Gandhi has been uaed to show analogy of being humane
5. To prove a certain point, certain facts and exmples has been used, like use of science in discovery of Information technology as well as creation of nuclear bombs provides a good contrast and proves a point of difference between using science by humane beings and non humane beings
6. Flow is maintained by using connectors in the essay as well as breaking the essay in points to prove and then proving them one by one
7. Maintaing flow, Providing information in Contrasting way to prove a certain point, Giving contemporary examples
8. Yes, it seems balanced by providing sufficient points to prove our points, as well as giving contrasting examples to tell the reader the wrongs of not being humane, we must provide approximately equal points in bringing out both sides of the story, and then use it to prove our point
Like giving example of people being humane and doing wonderful things for the society and also giving examples in which humans who didnot have values have done to the society (world war, concentration camps, nuclear bombs).
Firstly, what a wow! I finished reading the essay even before I realised!
1. The way essay transitioned from importance to being humane at macro level ( Planet) to micro level ( child) is brilliant.
2. Each argument is backed by a strong example i.e it is of unquestionable nature. It compels the examiner to agree with the argument.
3. Language used is simple yet strong. For example, use of sentences like ” Be good to one another” ” Ethical behaviour is not optional” They seem so simple but they make way into the depths of one’s conscience.
4. Didn’t feel like I came across any impactful analogy.
5. Holocaust, Anthropocene , Climate change were used to highlight the impact of humans on the planet and the need to be humane. But, the impressive was the reference to psychologist Lawerence Kohlberg’s stages of moral development.
6. Use of transition sentences at the end of paragraphs. For example, “…what happens when human beings fail to be humane.”
7. Case study-like use of examples i.e Holocaust, not just a passing mention about it but elaborate details. It really adds value if one can find such strong examples.
8. Pretty much balanced. Would have loved to see more emphasis on ” Life is a long journey..” part, a tad bit more. Nonetheless, one of the best essays I have read in my preparation.
Thank you for the experience,Sir.
sir I am extremely sorry…sir I couldn’t complete this assignment as I was not feeling well. sir, I will surely go through it and complete it. sorry sir
1. T1 = Human being , T2 = Being humane.
2. T1 = Mindful manifesto , T2 = Tranquil self.
3. T1 = Ship , T2 = Sink.
4. T1 = Culture, T2= Civilization.
5. T1 = Simplicity, T2= Sophistication.
6. T1= Economic prosperity, T2=Social justice.
7. T1 = patriarchy, T2= Social inequality.
8. T1 = Technology, T2= International relations.
I read the above mentioned essay – it is amazing and finely structured in same way which I seen in earlier lessons and assignment for intro , main body and conclusion via deconstruction , brainstorming etc.
All the mentioned argument are arranged in such a way that holds the reader in surrounding the topic and help to relate all the given arguments perfectly related to the crux of the topic .
Language and choosen keyword are really impactfull , anthropocene, altruism and compassion these are amazingly used to show relationship of T1 and T2.
I liked all the parallelism (gandhi, teresa, Luther King and lama)are used in the essay to show the human with proper balanced humane-ness.
All the examples are sufficiently used to describe the crux of given topic . It made me travel from religious values to modern value of humane in life journey of human in all respect (both negative and positive).
During reading I flowed like a boat without boat-men in flowing water. During reading even for a sec I didn’t fill something unexpected or boring. It’s like a interesting movie beyond my thinking level.
I came to know how one cane corelate the different example and facts in good way.
1. Yes, it happened in sequence. The techniques which you discussed with us. They are DECONSTRUCTION, BRAIN STROMING 12 QC, 4QC, and the BGnIS.
2. arguments used here based on the 12qc keywords that are altruism and compassion, environment, persecution and mainly the relationship with good and evil example, which has a huge impact on the reviewer in general thinking.
3. it is explained in a simple manner to be easy to the reader, using the WW2 example #persecution.
4. yes, he does in Hinduism and Buddhism, and great leaders, WW2 situation as human being and being humane, and others has clear influence on the reader.
5. 2 facts with 3 examples are used here at moderate rate which having a strong influence.
6.the step by step process is awesome, with one after another analogy made a proper flow to the reader till the end.
7.using analogies with some facts and examples moreover real time influence (current scenarios the example for climate change).
8. yes it does, if we aren’t aware about deconstruction and other techniques used in this essay then we won’t get the same flow and proper structure without 12QC and BGnIS.
thank you sir, and please correct me. if I am wrong.
The essay has a very organized and balanced structure. Starting from classification into T1 and T2, it also carefully treads on the deconstruction technique, followed by ESSELGO.
The introduction is simple and subtle. In the starting itself, it talks about the relation between T1 and T2. Yet, it also draws the reader into taking interest in the essay. Even the rest of the paragraphs each talk about different things so as not to confuse the reader and have a structured flow of thoughts.
The language used is simple and lucid. The writer has not used complex words that may confuse except in some places, where it has added weight to the argument presented by the writer. This makes it easy for me as a reader to understand what is being conveyed.
Yes, the writer has used excellent analogies to put his point. Examples of real people for humaneness has enhanced the essay. It allows the reader to imagine clearly the difference and the connection between human beings and being humane.
Just the right amount of facts and examples have been used so that the reader also enjoys reading the essay, yet not so many that it appears like a verbal scrapbook.
The essay maintains a proper flow as it does not delve much into the negative and rather focuses on the positive aspects. The conclusion is also drawn upon an optimistic and futuristic approach.
I learnt that I must not deviate from the topic that I have chosen. I also learnt to keep the language lucid and to use an appropriate amount of analogies. I will try to keep my essay as positive, futuristic, and precise as I can, and that will be possible with a lot of practice.
Yes, I think the essay is balanced in its opinions and arguments. To not disrupt the flow of the essay, it is essential that we do not deviate from the topic and keep it to the point. We must also not delve too deep into the negative aspects if any.
P.S. Sir, in the pictures of the notes, provided above, the handwriting at places is a bit illegible which makes it difficult at times to comprehend what is written. It could be easier it is in a digitized or typed format.
I have observed the following points –
The flow of the essay is as per the lessons which we have learnt earlier
Simple language
Crisp and to the point arguments
Not much analogies are used
Decent knowledge over the topic is needed in order to comprehend it in various points of view so that we can get more examples to write
Overall a well balanced Essay
The structure of this essay is as per matrix box which we learnt in last session. Topic is distributed in words and relationship between those words. Each divided word contained mini topics in itself. Prsctical examples are also explained in this essay. 4 examples in past events and current scene also mentioned in this essay. Need of this topic in the past as well as in future is explained very well. This whole essay show the positive attitude towards the topic.
My answers and understanding for the questions asked:-
The structure of the essay => the writer has followed all the rules that were mentioned and taught to us. The writer has followed a structured and schematic pathway for representation with proper spacing between the paragraphs. And, also has talked about the crux of the essay in the main body of the essay. the writer has also mentioned the same in brief in the introduction as well. These were done with the help of deconstruction, 12QC, and 4Q methods. This is my understanding now, further on from here the writer has used the remaining rules in the right manner to explain the body of the essay in a structured manner with the usage of simple and meaningful text/language.
The arguments are structured in a systematic way that covers the history, the evolution of the essay in different stages of time post history, and ending with a simple conclusion; since it’s structured in a proper way it has a positive effect on the reader with no confusions, as simple texts are used the reader will have ease for reading and would just go with the flow.
Yes, analogies are used. The made analogies are differentiated properly by the writer, also tells how they are connected – which makes it meaningful for the reader.
8 facts with examples have been used for proper understanding of the subject by the writer with the inclusion of the conclusion. As a reader, it gave me insights into the positives and negatives/repercussions of the essay. Each and every fact and example used by the writer is connected and narrows down to the aesthetic values/senses of “unity, discipline, peace, compassion and being humane.”
What I, have learned =>Differentiation of the essay into the main structure of introduction, main body, and conclusion by using the rules mentioned in the teachings.
=> The internal differentiation/division of topics and club them together to form paragraphs for a meaningful essay, such that it is feasible for the reader/examiner to read.
=> Also, apply the knowledge in real life when needed.
Yes, the essay is balanced in its opinions and arguments. One must not get personal and must not go away from the topic concerned and also should not overwrite(rather must be crisp to the best of capacity).
I READ THE ABOVE MENTIONED ESSAY …It is amazing and finely structured in same way which I seen in earlier lessons and assignment for intro , main body and conclusion via deconstruction , brainstorming etc.
All the mentioned argument are arranged in such a way that holds the reader in surrounding the topic and help to relate all the given arguments perfectly related to the crux of the topic .
Language and choosen keyword are really impactfull , anthropocene, altruism and compassion these are amazingly used to show relationship of T1 and T2.
I liked all the parallelism (gandhi, teresa, Luther King and lama)are used in the essay to show the human with proper balanced humane-ness.
All the examples are sufficiently used to describe the crux of given topic . It made me travel from religious values to modern value of humane in life journey of human in all respect (both negative and positive).
During reading I flowed like a boat without boat-men in flowing water. During reading even for a sec I didn’t fill something unexpected or boring. It’s like a interesting movie beyond my thinking level.
I came to know how one cane corelate the different example and facts in good way.
This essay is really a mirror which show my level of understanding together with thought and writing.
Frankly speaking I am not in position to judge is it balanced in it’s opinion and argument or not.?
As a student of yours I learned many new things . Many positive feeling is storming in my mind for which I have no word for this right now..
In single word I can only say it is अद्भुत।
Thank you sir.
* I observe clear structure of essay.
Yes, 4Q2 and 12 question clues used.
* Arguments structured clearly with examples. It’s creates the interest to the readers.
* Language bis used to express the knowledge.
* Anologies have been used. They are put in the right place to create the desired impact.
* 4 to 5 facts are used. These examples related to religious philosophy, climate change, nuclear bomb, etc.
* Deconstruction technique and 12 QC used to maintain flow of essay while reading.
* Value of being humane from human being.
* Yes, perfectly balanced. In my essay writing, One side of arguments or opinions distrupt the balance of essay.
Sir till now I thought that the essay should have more data (facts) & quotes of famous persons. But after reading this essay , I have come to know the reality that even without using quotes and data , we can write such a beautiful essay arranged in a orderly and structured Manner.
The essay started with the explanation of T1 and T2 in respective paragraphs, the structure of the essay was concise and followed to the point approach. The essay consists of good Introduction, Body, Analogies, Reference to the topic, and a valid conclusion.
Arguments had valid points and was demonstrated with great examples, Structuring of arguments with reference to world war and children were impeccable
Essay maintains the 12QCS approach and have examples for T1 T2
It gave me the clear idea how to write essay and what reference to infer and also how well to read about different topics to get an idea about the essay I am going to write
Essay is well balanced and concise and is impactful in its own way
With the interesting and impactful introduction and proper keyword and the use of simple English language makes it more appreciating and worth reading
1. Yes,sequential structure:DB(12QC)ESSELGO (4Q2)
2.arguments by writer shows reality in essay
3.altruism and compassion used to show humans flexible nature
4. Yes analogy is used to show people who are being humane ex: Gandhi , dalai lama etc,
5. At my frst reading I didn’t remember how many examples but used some but ex enhanced essay to a good level.
6. +Ve to -ve in each para
7. Structure, +ve view in para , +ve & -ve view in body , futuristic and pleasing view in conclusion.
8. Ensure using pattern and structure s.
Sir , I didn’t understand of how many para a intro and body should be of bcoz in your essay 1st side heading (alltruism and compassion ) is used after 3 para plzzzz reply sir.
You seem to have understood .Use the same in your essays.
The essay has nicely been deconstructed. The structure of the essay doesn’t let us deviate and is always focused towards the topic. It is connected with every aspect such as ethics , environment and science and tech which shows how much impact a small change can bring in the society.
– The Structure of the essay is put in an ordered fashion, like Introduction, Body, and Conclusion. An interwoven sequence of structure is followed, where one view leads to another.
– Systematic presentation of arguments, tied to the topic of discussion before it, thus giving a logical flow to the essay.
-The essay directly hits the core issue, without a lot of whatabouteries and round travel. No unnecessary use of any quote or heavy words, except some technical terms.
– Analogies have been used, for e.g. Auschwitz camp. They are put in the right place to create the desired impact.
-Appropriate and sufficient examples related to Religious philosophies, Inspirational individuals, climate change, nuclear bomb, etc. have been used. They convey their effects properly.
-Examples are tied to the argument, and arguments are tied to the preceding statement. This gives the essay a logical flow.
-Maintaining the flow and structure, while using relevant examples and analogies in the right balance.
-Yes, pretty much balanced. To ensure this, avoid taking any hard stand, or tied down arguments, which can’t be adaptable.
Thanks,
Sujeet
You have been complemented on your expression earlier?
Well expressed,and you seem to have gained a lot of clarity .
Use your input well.
Wasn’t yet complimented Sir ! 😛
Thanks for your response. Look forward to interacting more with you.
1. The essay follows the ESSELGO structures like 4Q2 in the intro, BGInS in the body.
2. The arguments are analytical and concise. No repetition. Makes the reader feel good about the content.
3. Simple sentences are used. Examples are impactful.
4. Yes, analogies makes the argument compulsive
5. 4 to 5 facts are used to make the analytical argument stronger
6. Flow is good with the right use of connecting words
7. Use of pre writing and techniques can make writing quick. Will practise this
8. Essay is balanced. Should not over emphasize on any particular aspect, the number of good and bad things should be balanced and there should not be any repetition.
Good luck with the practice,Semala.
You have a lot of reference material with you now.
Keep using it.
1. The essay followed a sequence with an introduction, body and conclusion. The structure was well phrased with T1 and T2 and the relation between them, followed by many examples, positives and negatives along with interesting examples to lead them.
2.The arguments are structured so that the reader does not loose interest in between.It first gave some pros and cons and examples to support them.
3.The language used is simple but efficient, crisp, and easy to comprehend.
4. Yes analogies are used like holocaust, and these helped to stick to the essay and come straight to the point.
5.Around 8 examples are used which made essay interesting.
6.All the points appear to be connected to each other.
7. I would first make sure to have enough knowledge on the subject, and think of various examples, latest ones and add to the essays, and make sure to combine from all directions, and not to miss any, and to present them in a crispy manner.
8.Yes.We must not bring out same issues and try elaborating them in a topic.
“I would first make sure to have enough knowledge on the subject, and think of various examples, latest ones and add to the essays, and make sure to combine from all directions, and not to miss any, and to present them in a crispy manner.”
that is the best approach.
keep making efforts in this direction.
1 followed the deconstruction technique to t1 and t2 , defined the terms properly and then imentioned the relation between them. After that the body is started with the negative arguments and then gradually shifted towards its postive arguments and then come with a balanced conclusion.
2 Arguments are well structured and they are manifested as to explain the core of the topic
3. Language is moderate , lucid and easy to comprehend , so reader will love to read it in one go.
4 yes, analogies are used in well versed way , the writer told about the world war incident then it told about the evil ness of a human by getting excess knowledge
5 writer has covered examples from all background i.e history, environment, sociology, science, psychology, from buddha to gandhi; mother teresa to dalai lama
6. It explained the effects of human being not humane and its repercussions in the history and modern era then combine it very well to show how being human can produce wonderful results and why it is necessary to have it and how we can mould the upcoming generation to imbibe the aspect of humane . All things were in sequence and flow was maintained very well
7. The way you divide the essay internally in different topics and unite them in such a fashion that it feels like a intersrting story ; i will add the desonstruction technique that u have already taught, it makes easy for us to write introduction and it becomes also easy for reader to understand that did we understand the topic.
8 essay was well balanced in opinions and arguments; and arguments were presented along with examples and facts which makes it more authentic.
“The way you divide the essay internally in different topics and unite them in such a fashion that it feels like a intersrting story ; i will add the desonstruction technique that u have already taught, it makes easy for us to write introduction and it becomes also easy for reader to understand that did we understand the topic.”
It is very satisfying to have your input along these lines.
Keep referring to the material available and practice.
1) Sequential Structure –
Introduction – What of 2 Terms, Relation, Supporting Argument, Relevance
Body – Introduction, B G S
Conclusion – Overall stand and main points dealt in Main Essay
2) Structure of Arguments –
Introduction
World of Just Human Beings
World of Humane
Human Beings and Humane Human Beings – Why different?
Way Forward
Conclusion (Agreement)
3) Language – Mostly simple but flowery language or higher vocab at few instances
Long sentences make comprehension difficult
Points – Genocide of Jews, Lawrence Kohlberg’s Stages of Moral Development
4) No Analogies
5) Either or Both in almost every para/ major point
Facts – Detailed, Some with Words like “Research”
Examples – Enough for points (> 7) and are Fact-Based or Ideas
Effect – Proves/ Supports Points and Opinions
6) 2 Consecutive paras mostly related in content or optimism/ pessimism
Immediate good/ optimistic points after bad points
7) Implicit Boundaries of 3 main parts & sub-parts
Use highly effective good points
Use Examples, facts and arguments
8) Balanced (Good and Bad)
Bad points in detail more than Good points but latter equally effective
Immediate optimistic points after bad points
Also, Not Balanced (Opposite of Question Statement not Covered). What about Great Personalities born Humane like Shankaracharya who didn’t have to take the long journey?
Well analysed.
Keep practicing to hone your skills.
Thank you Dear Sir
-the structure of the essay is simple as introduction,body,and the conclusion
-Introduction does not have any suspicious line or quote of the great persons
-It touch directly to the core issue
-The arguments in the essay are touching various dimensions like history, geography, environment,science,ethics etc.They give idea about vast nature of the essay
-Efforts are taken by the writer to keep the knowledge simple
– Different examples given like climate change,Jews concentration camps,nuclear bomb etc
-Repeating of the statement is avoided
– I think that the essay is balanced as it gives the positive arguments and the counter arguments
‘Efforts are taken by the writer to keep the knowledge simple’
Akash ,simple is the key.
Use the techniques to practice.Good luck
Start with good introduction defining actual context of topic with right flow. From history to current event like global warming ,climate change, nuclear weapons. Example uses like concentration camp, Gandhiji, mother Teresa & extinction of different kind of animals. Also beautifully toches spiritual, emotional parts with how relationship can become a evil and rescuer at same time (when I thought about this topic before I didn’t thought about this topic like that especially global warming,nuclear power,hitler etc..I ended up only with spiritual part whith less example).Flow of essay is best one explaining every dimensions one by one..
Good you got the spiritual connect.
Do another read of the previous chapters and practice.
Keep up the hard work.
~It follows a good introduction and body of the essay is rich in well backed arguments with examples. Yes it seems to follow a structure in body (BGInS )
~ It forces the reader to think about the real concerns of being HUMANE. At most of the time the reader tends to agree with the writer’s point of view. { As a reader I enjoyed the essay and grew some interest and respect for the writer.}
~The language is simple yet well reasoned ideas are there. Many times I, as a reader, became worried about the relationship (of T1and T2) but felt blessed after going through Indian examples. I understood, at the end, the importance of balance between T1 & T2.
As a reader I was engaged in the essay that is the most impactful thing. I think the fluctuation of emotions with the writer is extremely impactful.
~ Analogies created my interest on the topic.
~Many facts and examples such as – concentration camp, Gandhi Ji, are used.
~Flow is maintained through connectors (despite etc.) and connection ideas as well.
~I learnt not to repeat any idea again. I need to unlearn this bad habit of repetition.
~Yes it is balanced in it’s opinions and arguments. I must not stray from the topic (with esselgo ) and I should avoid over writing on a single aspect.
Thank you Porus.
My best wishes that your essays inspire the same sentiment in your evaluators.
Good luck.
-The essay is presented in a very organized format. The introduction begins with a bang, the body of the essay contains apt examples, analogies, contemporary issues. The conclusion is very compelling and the last quote is icing on the cake.
– The arguments make a claim and go onto justify them with relevant historical and current claims. The arguments reflect the deep insight and knowledge of the author.
-Extinct of species due to climate change, superiority over other with nonviolence, example of World War 2, carbon emissions,examples of great leaders for their contributions towards morality, peace, compassion , examples of achievements in the field of space,genetic modeling and nuclear power, educate children’s with ethical and moral teachings,conclusion is too impactfull ” There is no human without the humane and life’s journey is a opportunity for every individual to this fundamental truth for themselves “.
-Yes, the essay will definitely have a positive impact on the reader by the analogies used in it.
-the language of essay should be simple & clear . Add various dimensions and example in it.
Brilliant use of adjectives.
“the language of essay should be simple & clear “,that should be the key when you practice essay writing.
The essay has very good sequence of points as it starts with definition of T1 and T2 and talks about the relationship between them.
It has very good flow as first it talks about historical happening and then it relates with contemporary global issue of global warming . Then it talks about the way forward and ends in good conclusion.
It has facts of ww2 and carbon emissions.
“good flow as first it talks about historical happening and then it relates with contemporary global issue ,”That should also be true for your essays.
Keep practicing.
All the best.
1. The essay is well structured followed the right balanced between the T1 & T2, from the very basic introduction but with the powerful & effective words, covered all the aspects of the topic (behavioural pattern & potential, human impact positive and negative both, sustainable development) with great examples and current events.
2. All the arguments are to the point and directly hitting the relationship between the T1 & T2 and wider in nature. It is covering all the aspects which needs to be highlighted like the impact of human being on this planet as they are capable enough to make this planet hell and heaven both and also recalling some of the past incidents of the human being.
3. Language plays a vital role here and the essay is written in simple decent language and contains powerful & impactful words.
4. The analogies in this essay clearly helping to highlight the main points.
5. The facts and example are the core as they are clearly helping to see the difference between human being and humane being.
6. The flow of the essay is impactful, to the points and maintain a time flow chart as from the back in days to the present scenario related to the topic.
7. I learned more about the body of the essay as how should we represent our thoughts, ideas, theories, examples in the essay in the right manner with proper flow.
8. The essay maintains the perfect balanced between both T1 & T2, the facts were precise and clearly indicating the relationship and difference between both. I think we should not need to be think emotionally by taking one side only, need to strike the balance between for & against both in the essay.
Good expression and well analysed.
Keep the lessons in mind while practicing essay writing.
Best of luck.
I observed point of view and included core of topic secondly relation with other topics. It follow sequences according to T1 & T2
Definitely it gonna prove to reader is writter having courage & knowledge about topic.
A simple & good grammar need to impact on reader.
Many fact used related to T1 & T2 it gonna effect on marks increasement
Short but word to word understanding will impactful. Essay was useful to me I got idea how to put views in front of reader.
Thank you sir for helping me in imp side
Good grammar is definitely of utmost importance.
best of luck.
1.The structure of the essay has a brilliant flow but I have a confusion that of course it is divided in 14 paragraph i.e. 14 points but each are divided in unequal size some paras are discussed in approx. in 4 lines and some less than 4 line and finally more than 4 line means each are having different size and number of words not equally divided , so tell me how I can also do this while writing essay or in answer writing questions ?
2. I noticed that the arguments regarding this topic are more in favor and describe its importance I hardly find out some against to the topic (as discussed about the concentration camp , impact on climate that’s what I understand that’s a global warming ) which make conclusion that it can be mention more favor in comparison of against to the topic.
Is it necessary that we can also mention this thing(more favor less against regarding the topic) in our essay writing answers ?
3. The impact what I feel while reading is that it highlight the importance of being humane is why & how much necessary that can bring new generation into new positive thoughts of life that they understood the values of being humane etc.
4. Regarding the analogy I found many similarities and few of not because the things are taken into considerations are seems to be very close and synonymous as well , & of course make a positive impact on reader.
5. Appropriate amount of facts & examples has been used which is helpful to understand the fact in clean and clear sense , and where it effect negatively and some where positively.
6. The flow of the essay is superb but I confused when I mention negative point and when positive point so that it reflect the favor and against to the topic in appropriate manner because I can’t make clarity where and how you have done this .
7. Being human then will be satisfied when you become truly humane being in exact sense.
8. I have discussed above only that I found more favor or say importance then against , it is really hard to me to make equal comparison of favor and against to the topic .
That is absolutely fine.
A relook at the previous chapters and some more reading shall clarify things for you.
best of luck
1.The structure of the essay is balanced and took view of all aspects including anthropogenic factors. It started with an introduction explaining what is merely humans in biological aspect, the way humans evolved and followed by the main body of the essay giving some facts, places, inspiring characters, culture, science and current issues like climate change, bio diversities. The essay also have an impactful and smooth conclusion.
2.Arguments drawn and well argued covering all aspects. The essay inspires the reader from the examples of great people and make the reader realize his duties as well with respect to climate change and moral responsibility with respect to environment and climate change.
3.Language used in the essay is understandable for a novice except for some words like anthroposcene, cataclysmic, jubilation etc. But the Language used in the essay might be as per the UPSC standards.
4.Yes, the essay will definitely have a positive impact on the reader by the analogies used in it.
5.one fact, one theory and four examples of inspirational characters and two examples of religion have been used relevant to the essay without deviating from it.
6.Essay maintained the flow covering all aspects started from anthropogenic evolution of humans, the cruelity and stupidity in him with some facts and examples, environment, bio diversity, spirituality, science with a conclusion supporting the arguments.
7.The essay taught me to write an essay in a holistic approach ( covering as much as possible including facts, examples, culture, social, political, economic, environment, scientific aspects which revolve around the topic).
8.yes the essay is balanced. I prefer to avoid the topic which i am not confident and try to improve my factual knowlege and language.
” try to improve my factual knowledge and language.”Good thinking.
Best of luck.
Arguments made on this essay was impactable. What our society tells us about what already done in the past? and what to do in present? and what next for future? These questions are arguemented in the essay in simpler manner. Reader can easily understand this essay.
Extinct of species due to climate change, superiority over other with nonviolence, example of World War 2, carbon emissions,examples of great leaders for their contributions towards morality, peace, compassion , examples of achievements in the field of space,genetic modeling and nuclear power, educate children’s with ethical and moral teachings,conclusion is too impactfull ” There is no human without the humane and life’s journey is a opportunity for every individual to this fundamental truth for themselves “.
The flow of essay taking us since from past to present with telling us how differ human and humane.
From this essay how the pattern will be setting, deconstruction of things and arguing them with a things we know in a simple manner.
In this essay arguments and statements were balanced. In my essay I use to follow including the things I know rather than thinking about the things which I don’t know much and also thinking of essay in all the way such as political, historical, economical, technological and ethical matters to balance the arguments
The essay have a very good structure. The introduction of topic is very impactful. It began with defining terms and relationship between T1 &T2, it gives a view and information in support of topic. Different dimensions like religion, psychology, geography, history, society, education etc. Are explain very properly. The reader can understand it very quickly as it is explain in very simple language. Yes analogies are used . Nearly 7-8 examples are used. It helps to understand the topic better. Essay maintain a very good flow.
My takeway- the language of essay shuld be simple & clear . Add various dimensions and example in it.
Yes the essay is balanced
The essay does follow a good sequence I.e introduction, body and conclusion.
The arguments are broad including religion, psychology, anthropology, geography , history etc and the essay balances T1 and T2 very well.
Language is free flowing and concise ,the reader doesn’t need expertise to understand the points e.g kohlberg’s development, anthropogenic changes and climate change etc.
Yes analogies are used e.g 100 ton nuclear weapon, the holocaust . The analogies help to understand the topic better and drive the point home.
Atleast 6 to 8 examples and facts are used, and it helps to understand the topic and maintains flow while adding quality content.
Essay maintains flow by following the 12 qcs and adding examples for both sides of the topic.
Iam not very good with topics which are like the one mentioned in the essay, this essay definitely helps to understand what to do and how to write such topics.
Yes the essay is definitely Balanced and precise.
It starts with definition of T1 and T2. Introduction is catchy and it makes me go deeper into the essay. Language used is easy to understand and get the point. Structural argument is it’s about Intelligence and human potential.
“My takeway- the language of essay shuld be simple & clear . Add various dimensions and example in it.”
Brilliant.
You’ve got it.
Keep reading and improving.
1.The structure of essay is quite balanced and sticked to the topic.It seems like essay is following importance of humane-ness in its most of the structure.
2.Arguments are mostly fact based one’s.It forces reader to create interest in the writing.
3.Language is understandable to amateur’s, here some key words used to create impact like anthropocene,Kohlberg’s stages,Behavioural economics etc.
4.Analogies are used,example of auschwitz concentration camp to explain the evilness of homo sapiens.
5.few examples are used which are fact based It will make reader know that you know some facts and you understood the topic.
6.Essay flow is good.
7.I learned the essay writer is using fact based information and not criticising the human beings even though used some negative examples but followed middle path.
8.The essay is balanced and I must not take side or highlight the only part of the topic.
Structure of the essay is very continuous and balanced, the flow of the essay covered various aspects like Spiritual, philosophical, moral, biological, psychological, practical, economical respectively in the paragraphs of the essay. The vocabulary used is very apt and choosy. The use of the Jews situation has shown the adverse affect of not being humane and also quoted great personalities like Mahatma Gandhi and Mother Teresa who are replicas of being humane. The analogies of more carbon emission for global degradation and thesis of Lawrence Kohlberg to explain the psychological aspect are very relatable. In this essay 5 examples are used to explain the difference between human being and being humane. The main point I want to carryforward into my essay writing is, the balance that is covering all aspects which are mentioned above which makes the essay complete. According to me, I feel the essay is complete but couldn’t catch the points in the first reading and to not disrupt the essay, the points chosen to write must not deviate from the main topic and have focus around the topic itself.
You have been submitting assignments earlier, Good commitment.
Perseverance pays, keep up the hard work.
1) The essay follows a set structure which feels like a tailored fit around the theme/topic.
2) The arguments feel like a tennis match with to and fro exchange of arguments between human-ness and humane-ness.
How is language used to create impact? Notice points of maximum impact.
3) Language is colloquial mostly with occasional backing of technical keywords to support the argument. The Auschwitz example stood out.
4) Analogies felt like an extension of plain words to emphasize the point.
5) Facts were a few and aptly used as it wasn’t a typical fact based topic.
6) Essay maintained a swift flow.
What did you learn from this Essay which you will use in your own?
7) Pre – writing and tools used were reflected in writing as they seemed to have driven the writing. In a time bound competitive exam this can prove to be vital.
Is the Essay balanced in it’s opinions and arguments? What must you NOT do to disrupt this balance in your own essays?
8) The essay was written as such that it never got skewed towards one point. I would adopt this method along with keeping emotions in check while writing it.
End note: Given my exposure to reading I felt that this work wasn’t as creative of a work as it could be if written freely i.e without scores attached to it. I came across certain examples as i read on, ( I would have inserted some stories of humane-ness from the concentration camps; Viktor E. Frankl helping fellow inmates out). All in all it teased me to start writing again. Thank you sir for this program, this is definitely helping.
“Pre – writing and tools used were reflected in writing as they seemed to have driven the writing. In a time bound competitive exam this can prove to be vital.” That is a good takeaway.
Use it and practice.
Good luck.
1. Impactful starting, structed, Stating points and giving example. Connecting it with different aspects of human life may it be environment, history, future, society.
2. It give an impressiveness, gives an insight of what it is likely to having or lacking humaneness and what are the implications.
3. Language is powerful, assertive and exemplary. And using keywords made it more convincing and impactful.
4. Yes, analogies are used. These analogies helped me as reader to connect to scenarios and understand the experiment performed or what could be done. Making it more realistic.
5. 6-7 examples are used.
6. Flow is sequential. First defining, then connecting it with history to make and understanding what is already done and stating the positive and negativizes of the “T1 and T2”. How it is impacting us. Connecting it with what is the current stand of different leaders and society. How can it impact our future. What are possible solutions. So yes, the text is relatable and sequential.
7. Using the keywords like Anthropocene, Altruism. This is what I will include in coming essays. I can add examples but keywords are what I would like to incorporate in my future writings.
8. Opinions are mentioned logically and stated with an examples making it dynamic and effectual.
“Using the keywords like Anthropocene, Altruism. This is what I will include in coming essays. I can add examples but keywords are what I would like to incorporate in my future writings”, Brilliant understanding of the technique. Use it in practicing.
. The structure of the essay are arranged in sequence from intro to conclusions
. The argument makes the reader think about the topic
. Language made the essay more powerful
. Yes analogies are used to make the essay more interesting
. 6-8 examples are used to prove are argument
. The flow was perfect to understand the essay
. Flow, languages, analogies etc in the essay will help me to improve my writing skill
.yes it is balanced. We should not go in a different track while we are writing about one thing
The thing 1 and thing 2 was carried very well.
It started with basic terms and easy language.introduction to phrases was done in a simple way without any lag.
Body-The structure was very well maintained by connecting it to various dimensions-be it moral,or historical impact , environmental concern etc.,
I found that too many examples have made the essay lengthy and the flow of essay is getting missed while connecting the examples,for me.
I learnt about giving introduction in a simplified manner by catching the crux of the essay,and letting the reader know that u had understood the topic.
To maintain the balance between for and against.
Varied aspects and examples of each with regard to dimension.
Present situation to be mentioned
Future aspects and what should be done has to be included.
The conclusion should tell about your opinion and balancing the statement along with your future aspect.
“Future aspects and what should be done has to be included.”, TRUE. glad to know that you have understood clearly.
Structure of the essay was balanced with the different kind of things like historical, geographical, technological, economical and political way.
Arguments made on this essay was impactable. What our society tells us about what already done in the past? and what to do in present? and what next for future? These questions are arguemented in the essay in simpler manner. Reader can easily understand this essay.
Extinct of species due to climate change, superiority over other with nonviolence, example of World War 2, carbon emissions,examples of great leaders for their contributions towards morality, peace, compassion , examples of achievements in the field of space,genetic modeling and nuclear power, educate children’s with ethical and moral teachings,conclusion is too impactfull ” There is no human without the humane and life’s journey is a opportunity for every individual to this fundamental truth for themselves “.
The flow of essay taking us since from past to present with telling us how differ human and humane.
From this essay how the pattern will be setting, deconstruction of things and arguing them with a things we know in a simple manner.
In this essay arguments and statements were balanced. In my essay I use to follow including the things I know rather than thinking about the things which I don’t know much and also thinking of essay in all the way such as political, historical, economical, technological and ethical matters to balance the arguments in the essay.
Good luck with practicing .
Keep up the hard work.
The essay have a very good structure. The introduction of topic is very impactful. It began with defining terms and relationship between T1 &T2, it gives a view and information in support of topic. Different dimensions like religion, psychology, geography, history, society, education etc. Are explain very properly. The reader can understand it very quickly as it is explain in very simple language. Yes analogies are used . Nearly 7-8 examples are used. It helps to understand the topic better. Essay maintain a very good flow.
My takeway- the language of essay shuld be simple & clear . Add various dimensions and example in it.
Yes the essay is balanced.
“My takeway- the language of essay should be simple & clear . Add various dimensions and example in it.”Brilliant,I am glad that you have understood .keep the channel of learning open. Best of luck..
The essay does follow a good sequence I.e introduction, body and conclusion.
The arguments are broad including religion, psychology, anthropology, geography , history etc and the essay balances T1 and T2 very well.
Language is free flowing and concise ,the reader doesn’t need expertise to understand the points e.g kohlberg’s development, anthropogenic changes and climate change etc.
Yes analogies are used e.g 100 ton nuclear weapon, the holocaust . The analogies help to understand the topic better and drive the point home.
Atleast 6 to 8 examples and facts are used, and it helps to understand the topic and maintains flow while adding quality content.
Essay maintains flow by following the 12 qcs and adding examples for both sides of the topic.
Iam not very good with topics which are like the one mentioned in the essay, this essay definitely helps to understand what to do and how to write such topics.
Yes the essay is definitely Balanced and precise. I won’t try to be too critical or information oriented while writing the essay.
I am glad,you have made some strides in taking on topics that earlier were a challenge for you earlier. Re read the chapters, your confidence shall surely increase.
1)The structure of the essay is good and it shows where I’m lagging.
2)Arguments are structured in proper order. It gives a holistic and balanced approach to a reader.
3)The language is easily understandable, crisp and clear. some key words used to create impact like anthropocene,Kohlberg’s stages,Behavioural economics etc.
4)Analogies are used in a orderly fashion which gives the right example at the right time.
5)The flow of the essay was correctly linked. I used to have lot of doubts regarding the flow of the essay and what are the words used to do so. But this essay gives a clear picture.
6)This essay is an eye opening for me. It clearly shows me that what I’m lagging while writing the essay and it is clearly shown that quotes are used only when necessary but not just for gaining attention and loosing the actual content as keeping in mind in tune with the word limit.
7)The essay was balanced in it’s opinions and arguments.
Not giving much importance to a specific dimension and making use of all the relevant dimensions makes the essay perfectly balanced
It starts with definition of T1 and T2. Introduction is catchy and it makes me go deeper into the essay. Language used is easy to understand and get the point. Structural argument is it’s about Intelligence and human potential. Essay is filled with facts and good examples. World war 2, Auschwitz concentration camp and Jews sufferings set an realistic examples. It shows what happens when human being fail to be humane being.
My takeaways – It need to simple and clear, It should be multi dimensional, Avoid using examples repeatedly, need to be open minded to go deeper into the topics, should trained to write essays in analytical ways.
“need to be open minded to go deeper into the topics, should trained to write essays in analytical ways.”
Absolutely correct. Try to practice and gather as much information on techniques as possible.
Good luck.
It began with defining the terms, differences and relationship description of thing 1 and thing .impactful introduction of topic through different faiths approach to humanity , inherent nature of humanity.
Structured arguments about human potential, intelligence ,its positive and detrimental affects with the most striking examples of Jews , climate change, carbon emissions , nuclear bomb , information revolution. describing the journey from human to humane by different factors has real depth.
Language is crisp, easy ,flowy decorated with facts , bright examples.
my takeaway- organized arguments like what happens if u lack humane nature ,if so how can it be cultivated ,was very unique way to make reader stick to essay. Psychological perspective , moral development stages such knowledge i am definitely going to learn and use in my essay. This Essay is a blend of multiple dimensions ,rightful arguments mistakes like unidimensional approach ,improper use of examples ,repeating the points should be avoided.
“stick to essay.”This is exactly what you would want for your essay as well. Learn, practice to perfection, should be your mantra.
1. This eassy is well structured.
2. The argument structured is very attractive, when the reader start to read this eassy, they can’t stop themselves to read the whole eassy .
3. The language of the eassy is used by simple manner.. That’s why everyone can understand the soul of the eassy.
4.yes analogis are used.
5.good example and facts are use which make this eassy more presentable.. Examples are – mother Teresa, Gandhi ji etc
6.the flow of the eassy excilent and clear way.
7.i learned how to create flow and give frequent and how to put the examples in the proper place.. But sentence making of each and evey line i could use in my own.
8.yes , the eassy is well balanced.
“LIFE IS A LONG JOURNEY BETWEEN HUMAN BEING AND BEING HUMANE”
Human beings are most intelligent and capable species on earth as compared to other living beings. Human beings have ability and capability to understand, analyse and evaluate. However being humane or being generous is far more essential in all stages of life. A conscious mind shapes one’s personality and makes life’s easier then mere confusions and havocs in surrounding. Being humane isn’t a easier task as it is affected by various factors like culture, role model, traditions, religion conflicts etc. To be humane one must set itself free from unwanted thoughts and has to go through multiple stages or gain experiences in life.
“From human being to being humane is a life long process” which can be attained by proper education and right knowledge, so that it develops a sense of responsibility and makes one humble to contribute to nation’s welfare along with the welfare of other beings.
1)T1-human being. T2- being human
R-life
2)T1-mindful manifesto T2-tranquil self
3)T1-.ship T2-sink
4)T1- simplicity. T2-sophistication
5)T1-culture. T2-civilization
6)T1-economic prosperity T2-social justice
7)T1-patriarchy T2- social inequality
8)T1-technology. T2- international relations
T1- Human Being
T2- Being Humane
R- Every one born as human being but our consciousness make us Being Humane.
T1- Mindful
T2- Self
R- Our actions are mostly derived from our mind , so wise use of mind leading to higher self.
T1- Water In – Ship sink
T2- On water – ship float
R- What we take( thoughts, emotions etc.) inside our mind makes us and breaks us.
T1- Simplicity
T2- Sophistication
R- Simple living high thinking
T1- culture
T2- Civilization
R- culture is evolving in nature(changing with interactions and Civilization is developed over a period of time.
T1- Social Justice
T2- Economic Prosperity
R- inclusive growth
T1- Patriarchy
T2- Social Inequality
R- Extreme dominance of one led to burdensome for other
T1- Technology
T2- International Relations
R – More technologically developed countries have better relations in today’s era
1. T1= Life. T2= Human being
2. T1= Mindfull T2= Tranquil
3. T1= Ships. T2= Sink
4. T1= Simplicity T2= sophistication
5. T1= Culture T2= Civilization
6. T1= Social justice T2= Economic prosperity
7. T1= patriarchy T2= Social inequality
8. T1= Technology T2= International relation
1) T1- Human Being ,T2- Being humane; relationship=LIFE
2) T1- Mindful manifesto, T2- Tranquil self
3)T1 – Ship , T2- Sink
4) T1- Simplicity, T2 – Sophistication
5) T1- Culture, T2- Civilization; relationship= We( humans)
6) T1- Economic prosperity, T2- Social justice
7)T1- Patriarchy, T2- Social inequality
8) T1- Technology, T2- International relations.