upsc mains essay paper 2020

UPSC CSE Mains 2020-2021 Essay paper Solved, analyzed and super-simplified

I have been requested to analyze and discuss the essay paper for the UPSC CSE Mains 2020- 2021 conducted recently by many of my students/readers. I want to put myself in their shoes and understand their biggest challenges.

Which is why my approach in this article will be to show you how to write a good essay on one of the topics as well as to take you through the entire process of brainstorming, argument-formation, rough work, structuring and organization of the essay as I went through it. This will not only enrich you about the essay topic under consideration but also teach you how to use the techniques to construct a similar essay on any topic.

upsc mains 2020 essay paper download
You can download the UPSC CSE Mains 2020 Essay Paper here.

How to approach the Essay topic in UPSC Exam Essay paper

Let us consider the first topic in section A-

“Life is a long journey between human being and being humane”

I will use the techniques listed in my book the Ultimate Cheatbook of Essay & Answer-writing to demonstrate the steps involved in arriving at an essay for the selected topic. It is hoped that this will be beneficial for readers of the book and for those who are curious about it’s contents.

Pre-writing for UPSC Mains 2020-21 Essay topic ‘“Life is a long journey between human being and being humane”

Rough work for upsc mains 2020 essay

Right off the bat, I use the Deconstruction technique and notice that the essay topic is fundamentally about 2 things- i:e ‘ human being’ and ‘being humane’. So Thing 1 is ‘Human Being’ and Thing 2 is ‘Being humane’.

As I deconstruct the relationship between T1 and T2, I realize that the relationship between T1 and T 2 is that one of them is supposedly the culmination of the other across the journey of life.

deconstruction essay upsc
Deconstruction technique for Essay argument generation

I made a note of this relationship (R) between T1 and T2 without imputing any judgements or jumping to pre-conceived notions about what it all means. I then use STRUCUTRED BRAINSTORMING techniques to generate some points about T1 and T2 as illustrated in my Rough-work sheet below-

upsc mains 2020 essay brainstorming
Structured Brainstorming, 4Q method and 12 QC cheat code demonstrated

I use the 12QC technique to generate these points which helps me activate the relevant networks of my knowledge network in order to obtain the best ideas. I then highlight negative and positive sounding words as suggested by Structured Brainstorming and 12 QC techniques. This makes me realize that this essay topic crisscrosses over many debates and issues such as Biology, environment, psychology, Ethics etc.

The next step was to understand the essay topic right down to its core. So I drilled down into the relationship between T1 and T2 using the 4Q method. This gave me a deeper insight about the various dimensions to be covered while addressing the essay topic about ‘being human’ and ‘being humane’.

I realized that this topic is essentially another variation of an age-old debate between Biology and Ethics. It also undercuts the debate between lifespan development and the evolution of Ethical behavior in humans since the Relationship(R) speaks of life as a journey from being human to being humane. I note these keywords under T1 and T2 for use later on.

This is where the ESSELGO (Essay Generation Algorithm) method is introduced. The ESSELGO is a powerful and universal template for tackling virtually any essay topic under the sun. As a side note, ALL the essay topics in the UPSC Mains 2020 Essay paper can be deconstructed in to T1 and T2 perfectly and beautifully written about using the ESSELGO method.

upsc essay 2020 esselgo
Click on the image for a video preview of the ESSELGO method

I begin by using the 4Q2 method to construct an impactful introduction and make a schematic for the same in the Rough work space. Here, I make sure to gain clarity about the crux of the essay topic and begin to give my arguments some structure.

The listed keywords provide a lot of content ideas and insights about the topic which I listed under the appropriate category on the right side of the page which constitutes the IRW (Intelligent Rough Work) technique for pre-writing and Rough-work as shown in the image below.

upsc essay 2020
Rough Work and Pre-writing using the ESSELGO and related techniques for UPSC Essay topic 2020 2021

Next, I move on to generating points and arguments using the BGInS Cheat Code as prescribed by the ESSELGO method. To do this, I use the keywords generated during Structured Brainstorming which proved quite helpful in covering the various dimensions associated with this topic. These arguments and points provide further structure to the body of the essay which I will use while writing the main essay.

The ESSELGO and BGInS method inspired in my mind, a good way to structure this essay. Which would be to talk about what happens when human beings are not humane and then to talk about what happens when they are, to contrast the resulting worlds from these 2 value-stance and then conclude with a way forward.

After extensive use of BGInS and various other Cheatcodes, I use the SCoReF method to produce a positive and optimistic conclusion about the future and highlight the mechanisms which can be used to resolve the issue between human-ness and humane-ness before putting the debate to rest.

Here is the resultant final essay borne out of all the above:

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LIFE IS A LONG JOURNEY BETWEEN HUMAN BEING AND BEING HUMANE

The ‘wise ape’ or homo sapiens as human beings are appropriately called are complex creatures. This is because to be a human being means much more than being a biological species amongst other species of organic life. To be a human being means to be a biological, social, economic, emotional, spiritual and a moral being simultaneously.

However while all humans are morally responsible agents, not all humans are humane beings which implies correct moral action and motive on behalf of the agent. A humane being, therefore, is a morally-driven being which is not always the case with homo sapiens.

It is no coincidence that most if not all major religions of the world have stressed upon the primacy of ethical behavior. From the theory of Karma entrenched in Hinduism and Buddhism, to the idea of forgiveness and compassion of Christ, the message is simple and clear- Be good to one another. Be more than human and strive to be humane. This message is strikingly relevant for today’s world given the supremacy of homo sapiens as the most dominant and impactful species on the planet. The fate of humanity and the planet may rest upon it.

Altruism and Compassion

Human beings possess a tremendous latitude of behavioral potential. Which is to say that they are moldable and flexible creatures capable of achieving god-like feats but equally capable of perpetrating great evil.

During World War 2, 6 million Jews were persecuted and systematically murdered in death factories, the most infamous of which is the Auschwitz concentration camps. Here, Jews were kept prisoner, robbed of their dignity and their lives by another group of homo sapiens who believed themselves to be superior. This incident remains forever embedded in our collective history as the most inhumane and terrible of episodes which demonstrates the potential of humans to be morally abhorrent beyond imagination. It stands as a testament to what happens when human beings fail to be humane beings.

The horror of lack of humane-ness : Victims of a Concentration camp

The Anthropocene is the current era in Earth’s evolution according to geologists and climate scientists meaning the era of humanity’s impact. This means that the human civilization is impacting every aspect of the planets life-system immensely whether positively, negatively or consciously and unconsciously. Scientists estimate that human beings are responsible for the extinction of thousands of species and severe climate change which threatens the survival of countless other surviving species.

The Anthropocene- the epoch of human impact on the planet

The rate at which Carbon emissions have increased resulting in an unprecedented increase in Global temperatures suggests that the impact of human beings on the planet will be severe not only for other species but for the future generations of human beings themselves. As the generation of people capable of stopping or reversing cataclysmic climate change, it befalls on the humans alive today to accept moral responsibility of their actions or inactions.

upsc essay mains analysis climatechange
A sculpture titled -‘ Politicians discussing Climate Change’

Despite of strong evidence to the dangers of climate change, world leaders and governments have failed to cooperate and take swift action. This inexplicable lack of motivation in the face of certain destruction, proves that intelligence alone is insufficient for survival or prosperity.

Despite it all, there are exemplars of ethical behavior amongst the species who are revered as saints for their selfless actions- Mother Teresa, Mahatma Gandhi, Martin Luther King, The Dalai lama to name a few. This proves beyond doubt that humans possess the potential to achieve exceptional levels of morality and compassion.

It follows that when human-ness and humane-ness combine in optimal proportions is when the most remarkable achievements of humans have come to be. These include godly feats such as splitting the atom, travelling through space, landing on the moon and uncovering the genetic code of life itself. The laws of physics determine how electrons are transmitted through power lines just as well as how much energy a 100 Megaton nuclear warhead will release upon explosion. These fundamental laws are known to humans and this knowledge gives them enormous but terrifying power. The knowledge of nuclear physics wrought the atomic bomb but also the Information revolution which has reshaped the world as we know it. The way in which this knowledge is used is what differentiates the merely human from the humane.

Humans have tremendous intelligence and power

To be humane is to go beyond one’s limited ego-mind driven by short-term self-interests. The human being therefore, must do better and strive to become a humane being as a matter of survival, not merely as a matter of choice. Ethical behavior is not optional.

For the individual human being however, the journey to becoming humane is tempered by many factors and is not a one-time choice. Most factors which determine the ethical make-up of a person are strongly contingent upon their external circumstances such as ethical education, culture, role models and life experiences. The psychologist Lawrence Kohlberg’s stages of moral development lends strong support to the thesis that moral development or the journey from human to humane, is a life-long process. Being humane involves going through multiple stages or challenges where a child’s sense of right or wrong evolves towards more sophisticated as their intelligence and maturity grows. This process is overshadowed by the culture and overall milieu in which the child is reared.

Children go through stages of moral development in life’s journey

What this implies is that morality is not set in stone. This is cause for jubilation and hope because that humans can use their intelligence to make themselves more compassionate, ethical and happier as a species. Humane-ness is teachable and learnable.

On the scale of individuals, the effort towards large scale change from human-ness to humane-ness must begin with the child’s developmental process where moral education should be imparted intelligently. Parents, schools and educational organizations should serve as playgrounds for ethical coaching and tutoring. A safe haven for the fruitful resolution of Kohlberg’s stages of moral development for the child until the highest stages of moral reasoning are achieved.

upsc essay image
A sustainable world built on humane foundations

On the scale of communities and larger populations, insights from the field of Psychology and Behavioral Economics offer usable and actionable prescriptions for large scale behavior change. One such suggestion derived from research being that pledges, commitments and formal declarations of ethical conduct should be increased. This is because once formally committed, humans experience cognitive dissonance in not following through or breaking a promise made, thereby increasing the likelihood of ethical behavior. Similar research backed insights coupled with technological outreach have the potential for transforming entire communities of human beings into a global race of humane beings.

A global race of humane beings

Homo sapiens are unique in that they alone have the mechanisms and potential to transcend their primal monkey-nature. They alone can access higher realm of values which include all living beings as being connected in a unity. And the realization that it is not intelligence but compassion which is fundamental to being human.

There is no human without the humane and life’s journey is an opportunity for every individual to discover this fundamental truth for themselves.

– Ravi Kapoor

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Debriefing and analysis:

The entire pre-writing/Rough work process took me about 30 minutes (including a bit of color-coding for your understanding). The final essay which followed, ended up being written in approximately 1 hour and has a word count of exactly 1169 words which is ideal for the UPSC Mains Essay paper. (Admittedly, I typed it whereas you would have had to write it on paper in the exam.Typing allowed me some editing and corrections but the quality of writing would probably have remained similar on paper vs keyboard)

The images have been interspersed to aid in your understanding of the various dimensions of the topic and to help you grasp the narrative of my arguments.

I hope this was beneficial to readers of the Ultimate Cheatbook who’ve been asking for this type of write-up as well for those who are curious about Essay-writing for the UPSC Mains Essay paper in general.

ASSIGNMENT: Post your comments on the following lines in 200 words or less.

  • What do  you observe about the structure of this Essay? Does it seem to follow some kind of sequential structure? What could it be?
  • How are the arguments structured? What effect does this have on the reader?
  • How is language used to create impact? Notice points of maximum impact.
  • Are analogies used? What effect did they have on you, the reader?
  • How many facts and examples have been used? To what effect?
  • How does the Essay maintain flow while reading?
  • What did you learn from this Essay which you will use in your own?
  • Is the Essay balanced in it’s opinions and arguments? What must you NOT do to disrupt this balance in your own essays?

Deadline for submission: 10/4/21 before 11:59 PM

Tc, stay healthy and all the best for your preparations

Ravi Kapoor, IRS

82 thoughts on “UPSC CSE Mains 2020-2021 Essay paper Solved, analyzed and super-simplified”

  1. Q. 1
    Th1. Sting operation
    . Secrecy
    .mysterious truth
    . Undercover
    . Revealing the truth of corrupted officer
    . Investigation
    . Tehelka in 2001
    Th2. Privacy
    . Public right
    . Freedom of citizens
    . Revealing the truth
    . Loss of privacy
    . New Whatsaap policy
    . Common people, environmental
    . Leak of personal information
    . People condemn suicide
    . Careful about personal data
    Q2
    Th1. Human being
    . Life
    . Living organisms
    . Civilization
    . Basic rights
    . Resources
    . Art and rituals
    . Connect from past
    . Density
    . Disturbance on ecology
    Th2. Being Humane
    . Humanity
    . Kindful
    . Greedyness
    . Private association
    . Helping
    . Plant more trees
    . Fighting together towards threats
    . NGOs
    . Palestine attack
    . Qualitative life for everyone
    . Never ending humanity
    Q3
    Th1. Power
    . Authoritarian
    . Maintaining peace
    . Weakness
    . System where group of people work
    . Disrespectful for others right
    . Immense greediness
    . Nelson Mandela
    . Father of nation MK Gandhi
    Th2. Responsibility
    . Doctor /front line worker
    . Self dependent
    .being punctual
    .transparency.. .accountability
    . Destruction of leadership
    . Misuse of positions
    . Political reality’s
    .socially and mentally harm
    . Leadership on responsible hands

  2. My observations of the essay:
    1. Yes it has structure. In fact more structure than I could imagine.
    2. This is the structure which I could observe:-
    a. Using the 4Q2 method, you made an impactful introduction. Here you first described human beings not just as a biological species, but the other finer details of how we are different than others. Then taking the line of morality you cued in the meaning of humane being.
    b. Having established both things (1 and 2). You describe how its relationship is ideal and not true in all situations. In doing this, I believe the stage is set as to why both of these things are to be handled in the essay.
    c. Prior to this you exercised the 12Q method to get whatever relevant data for a 360 degree approach. Once you had it on paper, now you decided the structure and order of the ideas.
    d. You begin with marvelling at how different religious concepts have captured this idea of humane-ness. Then the positive things were attributed, followed by negative ones.
    e. Which was summed up by the fact that there must be a balance between this human being and being humane.
    f. You brought in proofs and observations as seen by psychology and proposed that it can be taught, and how so too.
    g. This was concluded with the idea of sustainable development and that the stages of human emotion development happens throughout life and that is the journey which was provided for elaboration.
    3. Each idea has been presented with an example. One example in the negative thing, in context of India which I would have added was the caste discrimination still prevalent in our society. Would that be a good idea?
    4. “Either you plan or plan to fail”, as Benjamin Franklin had said. That is exactly what I learnt from your essay. That a decent order must be maintained for the ease of examiner.
    5. In order to not disrupt the flow, I must never jumble one example after the other. It shows vision without direction. Thus planning what to write one after the other is the most important thing in a pen-paper exam as my chances of editing are nil. Plus too many criss-cross does leave a bad impact.

  3. The essay is very well structured which include all the points like introduction ,body of the essay and conclusion. It is very informative and include all the aspect like psychology ,history which make it more interesting to read. The T1 and T2 are very beautifully identified and all the 12QC are answered before writing the essay. The language is very simple and crisp so, that everyone can understand it properly. The point of maximum impact are 1)No human without the humane 2)Ego-mind driven by short term and self interests. 3)Human being posses tremendous latitude behavioral potential. They are capable of achieving god like feat but equally of perpetration great evils. There are many facts and examples has been used like Victims of a concentration camp, The Anthropocene, Sculpture titled etc. I essay flow is very good and interesting Things I got from this essay
    1)Simple language can be used to write great essays.
    2)Many points and examples must be given in an essay.
    3)We should interlink the different point mention in the essay.
    4)I need to read a lot to write such essay

  4. The essay was written in well structured as it provides introduction, conclusion, and the body of the essay was written in various dimension like it says about Homosapaines, about kolberys, psychology, economic and 12QC technique was used and the language was written in simple and well understood. It provides good examples such as ww2 incident in Jews and the fact about people like mother Theresa , mahatma Gandhi were used and the essay flow was good and it feels enjoyable to read the essay.
    What I learnt from the essay was I should write the essay in various dimension and should write in simple language so the reader can understand and I think the essay is balanced well from my view point.

  5. The essay follow a proper structure in the form of intro, body, then negative and the positive aspect and lastly a motivating and positive conclusion.

    Arguments are very well defined touching a wide range of examples. it makes the reader touch all the possible zones of interlinking human and humane.

    Language is very easy and impactful. From this, I learnt that with easy languages also one can write a creative and impactful essay.

    There are analogies like great noble people eg like Mahatma Gandhi, Mother Teresa and on the other side eg of hitler camp but I feel there is some scope of adding few.

    I’m totally tensed and worried about my writing way by seeing at your immense examples. There are so relatable with my optional still I never thought of using them is such way. Hats off, Sir.

    I don’t know any amazing word other then perfect to describe the flow of this essay. It’s just flowing like a peaceful water.

    Firstly, I learnt that with simple language also one can write a great essay.
    Secondly, the way arguments are put forward with the apt examples.
    Thirdly, interlinking of many subjects like history, anthropology, polity.
    We can use many examples from other subjects. This also shows our concept clarity.

    The essay was totally balanced in all aspect. In my essay I feel that sometimes there is no flow, all of sudden a new topic or example pops up. So, I understand that one should maintain the proper flow to make it impactful.

  6. 1)The essay is well structured (has distinct: intro, body ,conclusion part). The body-part is further structured into: a)-ve of human b)+ve of human c)The analysis part with interlinkages b/w human-being and humane-being + current technology as example to substantiate the points d) suggestions (individual,community level)
    2)The arguments have been well-placed (there’s no intermixing of arguments). Reader (as I) had following impacts: Arguments stayed longer in memory till the end of passage , the conclusions were having linkages with arguments (easily discernible), it helped in knowing that “writer” has enough understanding of topic.
    3)Language used had multiple key-words and the words used had emotive-power. It was not easy to just do side-reading. There was lots of information …it was knowledge intensive writing .
    4)Yes analogies are used (eg: politician , environment etc depiction). It made the arguments much stronger and clearer .
    5)Many facts and examples are used … as is said: it was knowledge intensive essay(-ve side of human beings jews-incident , anthropocene, politicians , M Gandhi, M.Luther King , nuclear weapons , how human gets conditioned-its factors, the stages of knowledge MODEL and much more).
    6)Essay was well structured and there was cohesion b/w paragraphs . It maintained flow: as arguments were well-places in an orderly fashion .
    7)I personally never did full-essay practice till now. I have given many GS papers ,but not essay . I learned from essay that: we have to well explain each of our argument with lots of examples ……..To ESSELGO technique seems to work pretty good 🙂 .
    8)The essay is balanced (as it considers various dimentions and considers both sides of a coin and finally concludes with knowledge gained from those points).
    WHAT I SHOULD DO:—> TO BE CONFIDENT (at first) , to not repeat same arguments, build structure of body(prior) and consider all dimensions of the essay .
    THANK YOU SIR 🙂

  7. The essay was simple to read, had easy to relate to common parlance examples as well as some extra knowledge which shows the effort put in.

    The arguments are structured highlighting the contrast between T1 and T2 and go from critique to positives, keeping a balanced approach.

    The language used is mostly simple, non flowery nor too abstract with some enriched vocabulary, which shows the writer is well read and wants to convey a message effectively.

    The points of maximum impact- examples where contrast is drawn on what happens when human beings are human vs non humane; a deduction from climate change inaction that intelligence alone is not the answer for prosperity or survival; non negotiables, scope for improvement etc.

    The analogies used like Prosecution of Jews makes the reader self reflect and question on the power of an individual and society to stand against wrong doing, populist decisions. Also the need for action to not let inhumanity prevail through proactive actions. The essay also weaves another identity of religious belief of karma and the need for compassion.

    Not a lot of facts or numbers are used however more examples have been used to clarify what the writer wants to say in a Elucidated fashion.

    In my view, Essay flow is mostly building up from a collective to individual level. In one paragraph the change seemed a bit abrupt, for most part the essay is woven well with seperate topics arranged neatly in paragraphs – climate change, Technology, Ethical behaviour factors, morality, solutions to promote and support the conclusion.

    I have learnt that a lot may be lost in translation, less is not more and brevity may not be as impactful as systematic brainstorming and weaving in the deconstructed ideas keeping in mind the reader.

    The Essay is balanced in it’s opinions as it has used contrast, rational arguments, detailed comparisons and examples to support why it is necessary to have humanity as a part of human beings and what happens without it.

    To not disrupt a similar balance in my essays, I find it imperative to practice everyday and read to learn how to build better structure and flow.

  8. *Introduction gave a brief about the what is coming in the essay and it smoothly explained the relation between human being and being humane
    *The essay followed a very logical structure covering -Religious-Historical -Political-Social -Environmental -technical-psychological and ethical aspects
    *Both positives and negatives Arguments are produced.It gave the reader a 360 degree approach to the topic
    *Essay language is lucid and is also impactful with usage of words like altruism,compassion,anthropocene,human-ness,humane-ness
    *there are impactful analogies-concentration camps,personalities.they added support to the writer arguments
    *around 5 facts.they were appropriate and useful.they didnot made the essay cumbersome .they were just right.
    *The essay was easy and smoothly flowing covering every related aspect mentioned in T1 and T2 .This gave intrest to reader to expect what is coming next.It also covered the age and evolution aspect which gave further coverage of topic
    *I learnt there is no need for massive facts,quotes .Focus should be on flow and points of essay should be revolving around the topic.for this i learnt how 4Q2 and T1,T2 methods can be adopted
    *yes it balanced as it gave arguments and supporting examples for both postives and negative sides of human,For not disrupting one’s balance in essay arguments and counter arguments should be equally given and to maintain 360 approach for the topic

  9. 1. It start with a nice introductiom, followed by a body, which tends to prove several aspects of human nature like compassion, love, respect etc by providing various examples, it also talks these qualities on various sphers of human society and at the end, it ended with optimistic conclusion

    2. Arguments in the body of the essay, are structured to prove the essentiality of values in humans by providing various examples, and introspecting it on various spheres of life

    3. Use of examples like concentration camps, and lines like morality is not set in stones, provides a solid as well as Empathic touch to the essay

    4. Use of famous public figues like
    Dalai lama, Mahatma Gandhi has been uaed to show analogy of being humane

    5. To prove a certain point, certain facts and exmples has been used, like use of science in discovery of Information technology as well as creation of nuclear bombs provides a good contrast and proves a point of difference between using science by humane beings and non humane beings

    6. Flow is maintained by using connectors in the essay as well as breaking the essay in points to prove and then proving them one by one

    7. Maintaing flow, Providing information in Contrasting way to prove a certain point, Giving contemporary examples

    8. Yes, it seems balanced by providing sufficient points to prove our points, as well as giving contrasting examples to tell the reader the wrongs of not being humane, we must provide approximately equal points in bringing out both sides of the story, and then use it to prove our point
    Like giving example of people being humane and doing wonderful things for the society and also giving examples in which humans who didnot have values have done to the society (world war, concentration camps, nuclear bombs).

  10. Firstly, what a wow! I finished reading the essay even before I realised!
    1. The way essay transitioned from importance to being humane at macro level ( Planet) to micro level ( child) is brilliant.
    2. Each argument is backed by a strong example i.e it is of unquestionable nature. It compels the examiner to agree with the argument.
    3. Language used is simple yet strong. For example, use of sentences like ” Be good to one another” ” Ethical behaviour is not optional” They seem so simple but they make way into the depths of one’s conscience.
    4. Didn’t feel like I came across any impactful analogy.
    5. Holocaust, Anthropocene , Climate change were used to highlight the impact of humans on the planet and the need to be humane. But, the impressive was the reference to psychologist Lawerence Kohlberg’s stages of moral development.
    6. Use of transition sentences at the end of paragraphs. For example, “…what happens when human beings fail to be humane.”
    7. Case study-like use of examples i.e Holocaust, not just a passing mention about it but elaborate details. It really adds value if one can find such strong examples.
    8. Pretty much balanced. Would have loved to see more emphasis on ” Life is a long journey..” part, a tad bit more. Nonetheless, one of the best essays I have read in my preparation.

    Thank you for the experience,Sir.

  11. sir I am extremely sorry…sir I couldn’t complete this assignment as I was not feeling well. sir, I will surely go through it and complete it. sorry sir

  12. 1. T1 = Human being , T2 = Being humane.
    2. T1 = Mindful manifesto , T2 = Tranquil self.
    3. T1 = Ship , T2 = Sink.
    4. T1 = Culture, T2= Civilization.
    5. T1 = Simplicity, T2= Sophistication.
    6. T1= Economic prosperity, T2=Social justice.
    7. T1 = patriarchy, T2= Social inequality.
    8. T1 = Technology, T2= International relations.

  13. I read the above mentioned essay – it is amazing and finely structured in same way which I seen in earlier lessons and assignment for intro , main body and conclusion via deconstruction , brainstorming etc.
    All the mentioned argument are arranged in such a way that holds the reader in surrounding the topic and help to relate all the given arguments perfectly related to the crux of the topic .

    Language and choosen keyword are really impactfull , anthropocene, altruism and compassion these are amazingly used to show relationship of T1 and T2.

    I liked all the parallelism (gandhi, teresa, Luther King and lama)are used in the essay to show the human with proper balanced humane-ness.

    All the examples are sufficiently used to describe the crux of given topic . It made me travel from religious values to modern value of humane in life journey of human in all respect (both negative and positive).

    During reading I flowed like a boat without boat-men in flowing water. During reading even for a sec I didn’t fill something unexpected or boring. It’s like a interesting movie beyond my thinking level.
    I came to know how one cane corelate the different example and facts in good way.

  14. 1. Yes, it happened in sequence. The techniques which you discussed with us. They are DECONSTRUCTION, BRAIN STROMING 12 QC, 4QC, and the BGnIS.
    2. arguments used here based on the 12qc keywords that are altruism and compassion, environment, persecution and mainly the relationship with good and evil example, which has a huge impact on the reviewer in general thinking.
    3. it is explained in a simple manner to be easy to the reader, using the WW2 example #persecution.
    4. yes, he does in Hinduism and Buddhism, and great leaders, WW2 situation as human being and being humane, and others has clear influence on the reader.
    5. 2 facts with 3 examples are used here at moderate rate which having a strong influence.
    6.the step by step process is awesome, with one after another analogy made a proper flow to the reader till the end.
    7.using analogies with some facts and examples moreover real time influence (current scenarios the example for climate change).
    8. yes it does, if we aren’t aware about deconstruction and other techniques used in this essay then we won’t get the same flow and proper structure without 12QC and BGnIS.

    thank you sir, and please correct me. if I am wrong.

  15. The essay has a very organized and balanced structure. Starting from classification into T1 and T2, it also carefully treads on the deconstruction technique, followed by ESSELGO.
    The introduction is simple and subtle. In the starting itself, it talks about the relation between T1 and T2. Yet, it also draws the reader into taking interest in the essay. Even the rest of the paragraphs each talk about different things so as not to confuse the reader and have a structured flow of thoughts.
    The language used is simple and lucid. The writer has not used complex words that may confuse except in some places, where it has added weight to the argument presented by the writer. This makes it easy for me as a reader to understand what is being conveyed.
    Yes, the writer has used excellent analogies to put his point. Examples of real people for humaneness has enhanced the essay. It allows the reader to imagine clearly the difference and the connection between human beings and being humane.
    Just the right amount of facts and examples have been used so that the reader also enjoys reading the essay, yet not so many that it appears like a verbal scrapbook.
    The essay maintains a proper flow as it does not delve much into the negative and rather focuses on the positive aspects. The conclusion is also drawn upon an optimistic and futuristic approach.
    I learnt that I must not deviate from the topic that I have chosen. I also learnt to keep the language lucid and to use an appropriate amount of analogies. I will try to keep my essay as positive, futuristic, and precise as I can, and that will be possible with a lot of practice.
    Yes, I think the essay is balanced in its opinions and arguments. To not disrupt the flow of the essay, it is essential that we do not deviate from the topic and keep it to the point. We must also not delve too deep into the negative aspects if any.

    P.S. Sir, in the pictures of the notes, provided above, the handwriting at places is a bit illegible which makes it difficult at times to comprehend what is written. It could be easier it is in a digitized or typed format.

  16. I have observed the following points –
    The flow of the essay is as per the lessons which we have learnt earlier
    Simple language
    Crisp and to the point arguments
    Not much analogies are used
    Decent knowledge over the topic is needed in order to comprehend it in various points of view so that we can get more examples to write
    Overall a well balanced Essay

  17. The structure of this essay is as per matrix box which we learnt in last session. Topic is distributed in words and relationship between those words. Each divided word contained mini topics in itself. Prsctical examples are also explained in this essay. 4 examples in past events and current scene also mentioned in this essay. Need of this topic in the past as well as in future is explained very well. This whole essay show the positive attitude towards the topic.

  18. My answers and understanding for the questions asked:-
    The structure of the essay => the writer has followed all the rules that were mentioned and taught to us. The writer has followed a structured and schematic pathway for representation with proper spacing between the paragraphs. And, also has talked about the crux of the essay in the main body of the essay. the writer has also mentioned the same in brief in the introduction as well. These were done with the help of deconstruction, 12QC, and 4Q methods. This is my understanding now, further on from here the writer has used the remaining rules in the right manner to explain the body of the essay in a structured manner with the usage of simple and meaningful text/language.
    The arguments are structured in a systematic way that covers the history, the evolution of the essay in different stages of time post history, and ending with a simple conclusion; since it’s structured in a proper way it has a positive effect on the reader with no confusions, as simple texts are used the reader will have ease for reading and would just go with the flow.
    Yes, analogies are used. The made analogies are differentiated properly by the writer, also tells how they are connected – which makes it meaningful for the reader.
    8 facts with examples have been used for proper understanding of the subject by the writer with the inclusion of the conclusion. As a reader, it gave me insights into the positives and negatives/repercussions of the essay. Each and every fact and example used by the writer is connected and narrows down to the aesthetic values/senses of “unity, discipline, peace, compassion and being humane.”
    What I, have learned =>Differentiation of the essay into the main structure of introduction, main body, and conclusion by using the rules mentioned in the teachings.
    => The internal differentiation/division of topics and club them together to form paragraphs for a meaningful essay, such that it is feasible for the reader/examiner to read.
    => Also, apply the knowledge in real life when needed.
    Yes, the essay is balanced in its opinions and arguments. One must not get personal and must not go away from the topic concerned and also should not overwrite(rather must be crisp to the best of capacity).

  19. I READ THE ABOVE MENTIONED ESSAY …It is amazing and finely structured in same way which I seen in earlier lessons and assignment for intro , main body and conclusion via deconstruction , brainstorming etc.
    All the mentioned argument are arranged in such a way that holds the reader in surrounding the topic and help to relate all the given arguments perfectly related to the crux of the topic .

    Language and choosen keyword are really impactfull , anthropocene, altruism and compassion these are amazingly used to show relationship of T1 and T2.

    I liked all the parallelism (gandhi, teresa, Luther King and lama)are used in the essay to show the human with proper balanced humane-ness.

    All the examples are sufficiently used to describe the crux of given topic . It made me travel from religious values to modern value of humane in life journey of human in all respect (both negative and positive).

    During reading I flowed like a boat without boat-men in flowing water. During reading even for a sec I didn’t fill something unexpected or boring. It’s like a interesting movie beyond my thinking level.
    I came to know how one cane corelate the different example and facts in good way.
    This essay is really a mirror which show my level of understanding together with thought and writing.
    Frankly speaking I am not in position to judge is it balanced in it’s opinion and argument or not.?
    As a student of yours I learned many new things . Many positive feeling is storming in my mind for which I have no word for this right now..
    In single word I can only say it is अद्भुत।

    Thank you sir.

  20. * I observe clear structure of essay.
    Yes, 4Q2 and 12 question clues used.
    * Arguments structured clearly with examples. It’s creates the interest to the readers.
    * Language bis used to express the knowledge.
    * Anologies have been used. They are put in the right place to create the desired impact.
    * 4 to 5 facts are used. These examples related to religious philosophy, climate change, nuclear bomb, etc.
    * Deconstruction technique and 12 QC used to maintain flow of essay while reading.
    * Value of being humane from human being.
    * Yes, perfectly balanced. In my essay writing, One side of arguments or opinions distrupt the balance of essay.

  21. Sir till now I thought that the essay should have more data (facts) & quotes of famous persons. But after reading this essay , I have come to know the reality that even without using quotes and data , we can write such a beautiful essay arranged in a orderly and structured Manner.

  22. The essay started with the explanation of T1 and T2 in respective paragraphs, the structure of the essay was concise and followed to the point approach. The essay consists of good Introduction, Body, Analogies, Reference to the topic, and a valid conclusion.
    Arguments had valid points and was demonstrated with great examples, Structuring of arguments with reference to world war and children were impeccable
    Essay maintains the 12QCS approach and have examples for T1 T2
    It gave me the clear idea how to write essay and what reference to infer and also how well to read about different topics to get an idea about the essay I am going to write
    Essay is well balanced and concise and is impactful in its own way
    With the interesting and impactful introduction and proper keyword and the use of simple English language makes it more appreciating and worth reading

  23. 1. Yes,sequential structure:DB(12QC)ESSELGO (4Q2)
    2.arguments by writer shows reality in essay
    3.altruism and compassion used to show humans flexible nature
    4. Yes analogy is used to show people who are being humane ex: Gandhi , dalai lama etc,
    5. At my frst reading I didn’t remember how many examples but used some but ex enhanced essay to a good level.
    6. +Ve to -ve in each para
    7. Structure, +ve view in para , +ve & -ve view in body , futuristic and pleasing view in conclusion.
    8. Ensure using pattern and structure s.
    Sir , I didn’t understand of how many para a intro and body should be of bcoz in your essay 1st side heading (alltruism and compassion ) is used after 3 para plzzzz reply sir.

  24. The essay has nicely been deconstructed. The structure of the essay doesn’t let us deviate and is always focused towards the topic. It is connected with every aspect such as ethics , environment and science and tech which shows how much impact a small change can bring in the society.

  25. – The Structure of the essay is put in an ordered fashion, like Introduction, Body, and Conclusion. An interwoven sequence of structure is followed, where one view leads to another.
    – Systematic presentation of arguments, tied to the topic of discussion before it, thus giving a logical flow to the essay.
    -The essay directly hits the core issue, without a lot of whatabouteries and round travel. No unnecessary use of any quote or heavy words, except some technical terms.
    – Analogies have been used, for e.g. Auschwitz camp. They are put in the right place to create the desired impact.
    -Appropriate and sufficient examples related to Religious philosophies, Inspirational individuals, climate change, nuclear bomb, etc. have been used. They convey their effects properly.
    -Examples are tied to the argument, and arguments are tied to the preceding statement. This gives the essay a logical flow.
    -Maintaining the flow and structure, while using relevant examples and analogies in the right balance.
    -Yes, pretty much balanced. To ensure this, avoid taking any hard stand, or tied down arguments, which can’t be adaptable.

    Thanks,
    Sujeet

  26. 1. The essay follows the ESSELGO structures like 4Q2 in the intro, BGInS in the body.

    2. The arguments are analytical and concise. No repetition. Makes the reader feel good about the content.

    3. Simple sentences are used. Examples are impactful.

    4. Yes, analogies makes the argument compulsive

    5. 4 to 5 facts are used to make the analytical argument stronger

    6. Flow is good with the right use of connecting words

    7. Use of pre writing and techniques can make writing quick. Will practise this

    8. Essay is balanced. Should not over emphasize on any particular aspect, the number of good and bad things should be balanced and there should not be any repetition.

  27. 1. The essay followed a sequence with an introduction, body and conclusion. The structure was well phrased with T1 and T2 and the relation between them, followed by many examples, positives and negatives along with interesting examples to lead them.
    2.The arguments are structured so that the reader does not loose interest in between.It first gave some pros and cons and examples to support them.
    3.The language used is simple but efficient, crisp, and easy to comprehend.
    4. Yes analogies are used like holocaust, and these helped to stick to the essay and come straight to the point.
    5.Around 8 examples are used which made essay interesting.
    6.All the points appear to be connected to each other.
    7. I would first make sure to have enough knowledge on the subject, and think of various examples, latest ones and add to the essays, and make sure to combine from all directions, and not to miss any, and to present them in a crispy manner.
    8.Yes.We must not bring out same issues and try elaborating them in a topic.

    • “I would first make sure to have enough knowledge on the subject, and think of various examples, latest ones and add to the essays, and make sure to combine from all directions, and not to miss any, and to present them in a crispy manner.”
      that is the best approach.
      keep making efforts in this direction.

  28. 1 followed the deconstruction technique to t1 and t2 , defined the terms properly and then imentioned the relation between them. After that the body is started with the negative arguments and then gradually shifted towards its postive arguments and then come with a balanced conclusion.
    2 Arguments are well structured and they are manifested as to explain the core of the topic
    3. Language is moderate , lucid and easy to comprehend , so reader will love to read it in one go.
    4 yes, analogies are used in well versed way , the writer told about the world war incident then it told about the evil ness of a human by getting excess knowledge
    5 writer has covered examples from all background i.e history, environment, sociology, science, psychology, from buddha to gandhi; mother teresa to dalai lama
    6. It explained the effects of human being not humane and its repercussions in the history and modern era then combine it very well to show how being human can produce wonderful results and why it is necessary to have it and how we can mould the upcoming generation to imbibe the aspect of humane . All things were in sequence and flow was maintained very well
    7. The way you divide the essay internally in different topics and unite them in such a fashion that it feels like a intersrting story ; i will add the desonstruction technique that u have already taught, it makes easy for us to write introduction and it becomes also easy for reader to understand that did we understand the topic.
    8 essay was well balanced in opinions and arguments; and arguments were presented along with examples and facts which makes it more authentic.

    • “The way you divide the essay internally in different topics and unite them in such a fashion that it feels like a intersrting story ; i will add the desonstruction technique that u have already taught, it makes easy for us to write introduction and it becomes also easy for reader to understand that did we understand the topic.”
      It is very satisfying to have your input along these lines.
      Keep referring to the material available and practice.

  29. 1) Sequential Structure –
    Introduction – What of 2 Terms, Relation, Supporting Argument, Relevance
    Body – Introduction, B G S
    Conclusion – Overall stand and main points dealt in Main Essay

    2) Structure of Arguments –
    Introduction
    World of Just Human Beings
    World of Humane
    Human Beings and Humane Human Beings – Why different?
    Way Forward
    Conclusion (Agreement)

    3) Language – Mostly simple but flowery language or higher vocab at few instances
    Long sentences make comprehension difficult
    Points – Genocide of Jews, Lawrence Kohlberg’s Stages of Moral Development

    4) No Analogies

    5) Either or Both in almost every para/ major point
    Facts – Detailed, Some with Words like “Research”
    Examples – Enough for points (> 7) and are Fact-Based or Ideas
    Effect – Proves/ Supports Points and Opinions

    6) 2 Consecutive paras mostly related in content or optimism/ pessimism
    Immediate good/ optimistic points after bad points

    7) Implicit Boundaries of 3 main parts & sub-parts
    Use highly effective good points
    Use Examples, facts and arguments

    8) Balanced (Good and Bad)
    Bad points in detail more than Good points but latter equally effective
    Immediate optimistic points after bad points
    Also, Not Balanced (Opposite of Question Statement not Covered). What about Great Personalities born Humane like Shankaracharya who didn’t have to take the long journey?

  30. -the structure of the essay is simple as introduction,body,and the conclusion
    -Introduction does not have any suspicious line or quote of the great persons
    -It touch directly to the core issue
    -The arguments in the essay are touching various dimensions like history, geography, environment,science,ethics etc.They give idea about vast nature of the essay
    -Efforts are taken by the writer to keep the knowledge simple
    – Different examples given like climate change,Jews concentration camps,nuclear bomb etc
    -Repeating of the statement is avoided
    – I think that the essay is balanced as it gives the positive arguments and the counter arguments

  31. Start with good introduction defining actual context of topic with right flow. From history to current event like global warming ,climate change, nuclear weapons. Example uses like concentration camp, Gandhiji, mother Teresa & extinction of different kind of animals. Also beautifully toches spiritual, emotional parts with how relationship can become a evil and rescuer at same time (when I thought about this topic before I didn’t thought about this topic like that especially global warming,nuclear power,hitler etc..I ended up only with spiritual part whith less example).Flow of essay is best one explaining every dimensions one by one..

  32. ~It follows a good introduction and body of the essay is rich in well backed arguments with examples. Yes it seems to follow a structure in body (BGInS )

    ~ It forces the reader to think about the real concerns of being HUMANE. At most of the time the reader tends to agree with the writer’s point of view. { As a reader I enjoyed the essay and grew some interest and respect for the writer.}

    ~The language is simple yet well reasoned ideas are there. Many times I, as a reader, became worried about the relationship (of T1and T2) but felt blessed after going through Indian examples. I understood, at the end, the importance of balance between T1 & T2.
    As a reader I was engaged in the essay that is the most impactful thing. I think the fluctuation of emotions with the writer is extremely impactful.

    ~ Analogies created my interest on the topic.

    ~Many facts and examples such as – concentration camp, Gandhi Ji, are used.

    ~Flow is maintained through connectors (despite etc.) and connection ideas as well.

    ~I learnt not to repeat any idea again. I need to unlearn this bad habit of repetition.

    ~Yes it is balanced in it’s opinions and arguments. I must not stray from the topic (with esselgo ) and I should avoid over writing on a single aspect.

    • -The essay is presented in a very organized format. The introduction begins with a bang, the body of the essay contains apt examples, analogies, contemporary issues. The conclusion is very compelling and the last quote is icing on the cake.
      – The arguments make a claim and go onto justify them with relevant historical and current claims. The arguments reflect the deep insight and knowledge of the author.
      -Extinct of species due to climate change, superiority over other with nonviolence, example of World War 2, carbon emissions,examples of great leaders for their contributions towards morality, peace, compassion , examples of achievements in the field of space,genetic modeling and nuclear power, educate children’s with ethical and moral teachings,conclusion is too impactfull ” There is no human without the humane and life’s journey is a opportunity for every individual to this fundamental truth for themselves “.
      -Yes, the essay will definitely have a positive impact on the reader by the analogies used in it.
      -the language of essay should be simple & clear . Add various dimensions and example in it.

  33. The essay has very good sequence of points as it starts with definition of T1 and T2 and talks about the relationship between them.
    It has very good flow as first it talks about historical happening and then it relates with contemporary global issue of global warming . Then it talks about the way forward and ends in good conclusion.
    It has facts of ww2 and carbon emissions.

    • “good flow as first it talks about historical happening and then it relates with contemporary global issue ,”That should also be true for your essays.
      Keep practicing.
      All the best.

  34. 1. The essay is well structured followed the right balanced between the T1 & T2, from the very basic introduction but with the powerful & effective words, covered all the aspects of the topic (behavioural pattern & potential, human impact positive and negative both, sustainable development) with great examples and current events.
    2. All the arguments are to the point and directly hitting the relationship between the T1 & T2 and wider in nature. It is covering all the aspects which needs to be highlighted like the impact of human being on this planet as they are capable enough to make this planet hell and heaven both and also recalling some of the past incidents of the human being.
    3. Language plays a vital role here and the essay is written in simple decent language and contains powerful & impactful words.
    4. The analogies in this essay clearly helping to highlight the main points.
    5. The facts and example are the core as they are clearly helping to see the difference between human being and humane being.
    6. The flow of the essay is impactful, to the points and maintain a time flow chart as from the back in days to the present scenario related to the topic.
    7. I learned more about the body of the essay as how should we represent our thoughts, ideas, theories, examples in the essay in the right manner with proper flow.
    8. The essay maintains the perfect balanced between both T1 & T2, the facts were precise and clearly indicating the relationship and difference between both. I think we should not need to be think emotionally by taking one side only, need to strike the balance between for & against both in the essay.

  35. I observed point of view and included core of topic secondly relation with other topics. It follow sequences according to T1 & T2
    Definitely it gonna prove to reader is writter having courage & knowledge about topic.
    A simple & good grammar need to impact on reader.
    Many fact used related to T1 & T2 it gonna effect on marks increasement
    Short but word to word understanding will impactful. Essay was useful to me I got idea how to put views in front of reader.
    Thank you sir for helping me in imp side

  36. 1.The structure of the essay has a brilliant flow but I have a confusion that of course it is divided in 14 paragraph i.e. 14 points but each are divided in unequal size some paras are discussed in approx. in 4 lines and some less than 4 line and finally more than 4 line means each are having different size and number of words not equally divided , so tell me how I can also do this while writing essay or in answer writing questions ?
    2. I noticed that the arguments regarding this topic are more in favor and describe its importance I hardly find out some against to the topic (as discussed about the concentration camp , impact on climate that’s what I understand that’s a global warming ) which make conclusion that it can be mention more favor in comparison of against to the topic.
    Is it necessary that we can also mention this thing(more favor less against regarding the topic) in our essay writing answers ?
    3. The impact what I feel while reading is that it highlight the importance of being humane is why & how much necessary that can bring new generation into new positive thoughts of life that they understood the values of being humane etc.
    4. Regarding the analogy I found many similarities and few of not because the things are taken into considerations are seems to be very close and synonymous as well , & of course make a positive impact on reader.
    5. Appropriate amount of facts & examples has been used which is helpful to understand the fact in clean and clear sense , and where it effect negatively and some where positively.
    6. The flow of the essay is superb but I confused when I mention negative point and when positive point so that it reflect the favor and against to the topic in appropriate manner because I can’t make clarity where and how you have done this .
    7. Being human then will be satisfied when you become truly humane being in exact sense.
    8. I have discussed above only that I found more favor or say importance then against , it is really hard to me to make equal comparison of favor and against to the topic .

  37. 1.The structure of the essay is balanced and took view of all aspects including anthropogenic factors. It started with an introduction explaining what is merely humans in biological aspect, the way humans evolved and followed by the main body of the essay giving some facts, places, inspiring characters, culture, science and current issues like climate change, bio diversities. The essay also have an impactful and smooth conclusion.
    2.Arguments drawn and well argued covering all aspects. The essay inspires the reader from the examples of great people and make the reader realize his duties as well with respect to climate change and moral responsibility with respect to environment and climate change.
    3.Language used in the essay is understandable for a novice except for some words like anthroposcene, cataclysmic, jubilation etc. But the Language used in the essay might be as per the UPSC standards.
    4.Yes, the essay will definitely have a positive impact on the reader by the analogies used in it.
    5.one fact, one theory and four examples of inspirational characters and two examples of religion have been used relevant to the essay without deviating from it.
    6.Essay maintained the flow covering all aspects started from anthropogenic evolution of humans, the cruelity and stupidity in him with some facts and examples, environment, bio diversity, spirituality, science with a conclusion supporting the arguments.
    7.The essay taught me to write an essay in a holistic approach ( covering as much as possible including facts, examples, culture, social, political, economic, environment, scientific aspects which revolve around the topic).
    8.yes the essay is balanced. I prefer to avoid the topic which i am not confident and try to improve my factual knowlege and language.

  38. Arguments made on this essay was impactable. What our society tells us about what already done in the past? and what to do in present? and what next for future? These questions are arguemented in the essay in simpler manner. Reader can easily understand this essay.
    Extinct of species due to climate change, superiority over other with nonviolence, example of World War 2, carbon emissions,examples of great leaders for their contributions towards morality, peace, compassion , examples of achievements in the field of space,genetic modeling and nuclear power, educate children’s with ethical and moral teachings,conclusion is too impactfull ” There is no human without the humane and life’s journey is a opportunity for every individual to this fundamental truth for themselves “.
    The flow of essay taking us since from past to present with telling us how differ human and humane.
    From this essay how the pattern will be setting, deconstruction of things and arguing them with a things we know in a simple manner.
    In this essay arguments and statements were balanced. In my essay I use to follow including the things I know rather than thinking about the things which I don’t know much and also thinking of essay in all the way such as political, historical, economical, technological and ethical matters to balance the arguments
    The essay have a very good structure. The introduction of topic is very impactful. It began with defining terms and relationship between T1 &T2, it gives a view and information in support of topic. Different dimensions like religion, psychology, geography, history, society, education etc. Are explain very properly. The reader can understand it very quickly as it is explain in very simple language. Yes analogies are used . Nearly 7-8 examples are used. It helps to understand the topic better. Essay maintain a very good flow.
    My takeway- the language of essay shuld be simple & clear . Add various dimensions and example in it.
    Yes the essay is balanced
    The essay does follow a good sequence I.e introduction, body and conclusion.
    The arguments are broad including religion, psychology, anthropology, geography , history etc and the essay balances T1 and T2 very well.
    Language is free flowing and concise ,the reader doesn’t need expertise to understand the points e.g kohlberg’s development, anthropogenic changes and climate change etc.
    Yes analogies are used e.g 100 ton nuclear weapon, the holocaust . The analogies help to understand the topic better and drive the point home.
    Atleast 6 to 8 examples and facts are used, and it helps to understand the topic and maintains flow while adding quality content.
    Essay maintains flow by following the 12 qcs and adding examples for both sides of the topic.
    Iam not very good with topics which are like the one mentioned in the essay, this essay definitely helps to understand what to do and how to write such topics.
    Yes the essay is definitely Balanced and precise.
    It starts with definition of T1 and T2. Introduction is catchy and it makes me go deeper into the essay. Language used is easy to understand and get the point. Structural argument is it’s about Intelligence and human potential.

    • “My takeway- the language of essay shuld be simple & clear . Add various dimensions and example in it.”
      Brilliant.
      You’ve got it.
      Keep reading and improving.

  39. 1.The structure of essay is quite balanced and sticked to the topic.It seems like essay is following importance of humane-ness in its most of the structure.
    2.Arguments are mostly fact based one’s.It forces reader to create interest in the writing.
    3.Language is understandable to amateur’s, here some key words used to create impact like anthropocene,Kohlberg’s stages,Behavioural economics etc.
    4.Analogies are used,example of auschwitz concentration camp to explain the evilness of homo sapiens.
    5.few examples are used which are fact based It will make reader know that you know some facts and you understood the topic.
    6.Essay flow is good.
    7.I learned the essay writer is using fact based information and not criticising the human beings even though used some negative examples but followed middle path.
    8.The essay is balanced and I must not take side or highlight the only part of the topic.

  40. Structure of the essay is very continuous and balanced, the flow of the essay covered various aspects like Spiritual, philosophical, moral, biological, psychological, practical, economical respectively in the paragraphs of the essay. The vocabulary used is very apt and choosy. The use of the Jews situation has shown the adverse affect of not being humane and also quoted great personalities like Mahatma Gandhi and Mother Teresa who are replicas of being humane. The analogies of more carbon emission for global degradation and thesis of Lawrence Kohlberg to explain the psychological aspect are very relatable. In this essay 5 examples are used to explain the difference between human being and being humane. The main point I want to carryforward into my essay writing is, the balance that is covering all aspects which are mentioned above which makes the essay complete. According to me, I feel the essay is complete but couldn’t catch the points in the first reading and to not disrupt the essay, the points chosen to write must not deviate from the main topic and have focus around the topic itself.

  41. 1) The essay follows a set structure which feels like a tailored fit around the theme/topic.
    2) The arguments feel like a tennis match with to and fro exchange of arguments between human-ness and humane-ness.
    How is language used to create impact? Notice points of maximum impact.
    3) Language is colloquial mostly with occasional backing of technical keywords to support the argument. The Auschwitz example stood out.
    4) Analogies felt like an extension of plain words to emphasize the point.
    5) Facts were a few and aptly used as it wasn’t a typical fact based topic.
    6) Essay maintained a swift flow.
    What did you learn from this Essay which you will use in your own?
    7) Pre – writing and tools used were reflected in writing as they seemed to have driven the writing. In a time bound competitive exam this can prove to be vital.
    Is the Essay balanced in it’s opinions and arguments? What must you NOT do to disrupt this balance in your own essays?
    8) The essay was written as such that it never got skewed towards one point. I would adopt this method along with keeping emotions in check while writing it.

    End note: Given my exposure to reading I felt that this work wasn’t as creative of a work as it could be if written freely i.e without scores attached to it. I came across certain examples as i read on, ( I would have inserted some stories of humane-ness from the concentration camps; Viktor E. Frankl helping fellow inmates out). All in all it teased me to start writing again. Thank you sir for this program, this is definitely helping.

    • “Pre – writing and tools used were reflected in writing as they seemed to have driven the writing. In a time bound competitive exam this can prove to be vital.” That is a good takeaway.
      Use it and practice.
      Good luck.

  42. 1. Impactful starting, structed, Stating points and giving example. Connecting it with different aspects of human life may it be environment, history, future, society.
    2. It give an impressiveness, gives an insight of what it is likely to having or lacking humaneness and what are the implications.
    3. Language is powerful, assertive and exemplary. And using keywords made it more convincing and impactful.
    4. Yes, analogies are used. These analogies helped me as reader to connect to scenarios and understand the experiment performed or what could be done. Making it more realistic.
    5. 6-7 examples are used.
    6. Flow is sequential. First defining, then connecting it with history to make and understanding what is already done and stating the positive and negativizes of the “T1 and T2”. How it is impacting us. Connecting it with what is the current stand of different leaders and society. How can it impact our future. What are possible solutions. So yes, the text is relatable and sequential.
    7. Using the keywords like Anthropocene, Altruism. This is what I will include in coming essays. I can add examples but keywords are what I would like to incorporate in my future writings.
    8. Opinions are mentioned logically and stated with an examples making it dynamic and effectual.

    • “Using the keywords like Anthropocene, Altruism. This is what I will include in coming essays. I can add examples but keywords are what I would like to incorporate in my future writings”, Brilliant understanding of the technique. Use it in practicing.

  43. . The structure of the essay are arranged in sequence from intro to conclusions
    . The argument makes the reader think about the topic
    . Language made the essay more powerful
    . Yes analogies are used to make the essay more interesting
    . 6-8 examples are used to prove are argument
    . The flow was perfect to understand the essay
    . Flow, languages, analogies etc in the essay will help me to improve my writing skill
    .yes it is balanced. We should not go in a different track while we are writing about one thing

  44. The thing 1 and thing 2 was carried very well.
    It started with basic terms and easy language.introduction to phrases was done in a simple way without any lag.
    Body-The structure was very well maintained by connecting it to various dimensions-be it moral,or historical impact , environmental concern etc.,
    I found that too many examples have made the essay lengthy and the flow of essay is getting missed while connecting the examples,for me.
    I learnt about giving introduction in a simplified manner by catching the crux of the essay,and letting the reader know that u had understood the topic.
    To maintain the balance between for and against.
    Varied aspects and examples of each with regard to dimension.
    Present situation to be mentioned
    Future aspects and what should be done has to be included.
    The conclusion should tell about your opinion and balancing the statement along with your future aspect.

  45. Structure of the essay was balanced with the different kind of things like historical, geographical, technological, economical and political way.
    Arguments made on this essay was impactable. What our society tells us about what already done in the past? and what to do in present? and what next for future? These questions are arguemented in the essay in simpler manner. Reader can easily understand this essay.
    Extinct of species due to climate change, superiority over other with nonviolence, example of World War 2, carbon emissions,examples of great leaders for their contributions towards morality, peace, compassion , examples of achievements in the field of space,genetic modeling and nuclear power, educate children’s with ethical and moral teachings,conclusion is too impactfull ” There is no human without the humane and life’s journey is a opportunity for every individual to this fundamental truth for themselves “.
    The flow of essay taking us since from past to present with telling us how differ human and humane.
    From this essay how the pattern will be setting, deconstruction of things and arguing them with a things we know in a simple manner.
    In this essay arguments and statements were balanced. In my essay I use to follow including the things I know rather than thinking about the things which I don’t know much and also thinking of essay in all the way such as political, historical, economical, technological and ethical matters to balance the arguments in the essay.

  46. The essay have a very good structure. The introduction of topic is very impactful. It began with defining terms and relationship between T1 &T2, it gives a view and information in support of topic. Different dimensions like religion, psychology, geography, history, society, education etc. Are explain very properly. The reader can understand it very quickly as it is explain in very simple language. Yes analogies are used . Nearly 7-8 examples are used. It helps to understand the topic better. Essay maintain a very good flow.
    My takeway- the language of essay shuld be simple & clear . Add various dimensions and example in it.
    Yes the essay is balanced.

    • “My takeway- the language of essay should be simple & clear . Add various dimensions and example in it.”Brilliant,I am glad that you have understood .keep the channel of learning open. Best of luck..

  47. The essay does follow a good sequence I.e introduction, body and conclusion.
    The arguments are broad including religion, psychology, anthropology, geography , history etc and the essay balances T1 and T2 very well.
    Language is free flowing and concise ,the reader doesn’t need expertise to understand the points e.g kohlberg’s development, anthropogenic changes and climate change etc.
    Yes analogies are used e.g 100 ton nuclear weapon, the holocaust . The analogies help to understand the topic better and drive the point home.
    Atleast 6 to 8 examples and facts are used, and it helps to understand the topic and maintains flow while adding quality content.
    Essay maintains flow by following the 12 qcs and adding examples for both sides of the topic.
    Iam not very good with topics which are like the one mentioned in the essay, this essay definitely helps to understand what to do and how to write such topics.
    Yes the essay is definitely Balanced and precise. I won’t try to be too critical or information oriented while writing the essay.

    • I am glad,you have made some strides in taking on topics that earlier were a challenge for you earlier. Re read the chapters, your confidence shall surely increase.

  48. It starts with definition of T1 and T2. Introduction is catchy and it makes me go deeper into the essay. Language used is easy to understand and get the point. Structural argument is it’s about Intelligence and human potential. Essay is filled with facts and good examples. World war 2, Auschwitz concentration camp and Jews sufferings set an realistic examples. It shows what happens when human being fail to be humane being.
    My takeaways – It need to simple and clear, It should be multi dimensional, Avoid using examples repeatedly, need to be open minded to go deeper into the topics, should trained to write essays in analytical ways.

    • “need to be open minded to go deeper into the topics, should trained to write essays in analytical ways.”
      Absolutely correct. Try to practice and gather as much information on techniques as possible.
      Good luck.

  49. It began with defining the terms, differences and relationship description of thing 1 and thing .impactful introduction of topic through different faiths approach to humanity , inherent nature of humanity.
    Structured arguments about human potential, intelligence ,its positive and detrimental affects with the most striking examples of Jews , climate change, carbon emissions , nuclear bomb , information revolution. describing the journey from human to humane by different factors has real depth.
    Language is crisp, easy ,flowy decorated with facts , bright examples.
    my takeaway- organized arguments like what happens if u lack humane nature ,if so how can it be cultivated ,was very unique way to make reader stick to essay. Psychological perspective , moral development stages such knowledge i am definitely going to learn and use in my essay. This Essay is a blend of multiple dimensions ,rightful arguments mistakes like unidimensional approach ,improper use of examples ,repeating the points should be avoided.

  50. “LIFE IS A LONG JOURNEY BETWEEN HUMAN BEING AND BEING HUMANE”
    Human beings are most intelligent and capable species on earth as compared to other living beings. Human beings have ability and capability to understand, analyse and evaluate. However being humane or being generous is far more essential in all stages of life. A conscious mind shapes one’s personality and makes life’s easier then mere confusions and havocs in surrounding. Being humane isn’t a easier task as it is affected by various factors like culture, role model, traditions, religion conflicts etc. To be humane one must set itself free from unwanted thoughts and has to go through multiple stages or gain experiences in life.
    “From human being to being humane is a life long process” which can be attained by proper education and right knowledge, so that it develops a sense of responsibility and makes one humble to contribute to nation’s welfare along with the welfare of other beings.

  51. 1)T1-human being. T2- being human
    R-life
    2)T1-mindful manifesto T2-tranquil self
    3)T1-.ship T2-sink
    4)T1- simplicity. T2-sophistication
    5)T1-culture. T2-civilization
    6)T1-economic prosperity T2-social justice
    7)T1-patriarchy T2- social inequality
    8)T1-technology. T2- international relations

  52. T1- Human Being
    T2- Being Humane
    R- Every one born as human being but our consciousness make us Being Humane.

    T1- Mindful
    T2- Self
    R- Our actions are mostly derived from our mind , so wise use of mind leading to higher self.

    T1- Water In – Ship sink
    T2- On water – ship float
    R- What we take( thoughts, emotions etc.) inside our mind makes us and breaks us.

    T1- Simplicity
    T2- Sophistication
    R- Simple living high thinking

    T1- culture
    T2- Civilization
    R- culture is evolving in nature(changing with interactions and Civilization is developed over a period of time.

    T1- Social Justice
    T2- Economic Prosperity
    R- inclusive growth

    T1- Patriarchy
    T2- Social Inequality
    R- Extreme dominance of one led to burdensome for other

    T1- Technology
    T2- International Relations
    R – More technologically developed countries have better relations in today’s era

  53. 1. T1= Life. T2= Human being
    2. T1= Mindfull T2= Tranquil
    3. T1= Ships. T2= Sink
    4. T1= Simplicity T2= sophistication
    5. T1= Culture T2= Civilization
    6. T1= Social justice T2= Economic prosperity
    7. T1= patriarchy T2= Social inequality
    8. T1= Technology T2= International relation

  54. 1) T1- Human Being ,T2- Being humane; relationship=LIFE
    2) T1- Mindful manifesto, T2- Tranquil self
    3)T1 – Ship , T2- Sink
    4) T1- Simplicity, T2 – Sophistication
    5) T1- Culture, T2- Civilization; relationship= We( humans)
    6) T1- Economic prosperity, T2- Social justice
    7)T1- Patriarchy, T2- Social inequality
    8) T1- Technology, T2- International relations.

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