Has it occurred to you that it seemed like a big deal a few days ago when 2024 was not here, but now that it is, it seems no different from 2023.
The year may be new, but the days feel the same.
My new year has certainly rolled in and started unfolding without much excitement.
To add to my disappointment, and yours too I’m sure, the visions of radically healthy changes we had anticipated and resolved to effect in the new year, have all but evaporated amidst the flow of everyday life and our pre-set habit-patterns.
The diet or the study plan you may have committed to, is now seeming harder and harder to maintain. I know mine is.
Why do we so effortlessly over-anticipate our potential for change? Why do so effortfully resist change when it is in fact, what we desire?
Perhaps we do so unconsciously to preserve our ego or self-esteem. The ego is deeply sensitive to criticism and the buoyant expectations we have from ourselves could be a defence mechanism to buffer against a harsh reality-
what we desire is very different from what we are willing to do to obtain it.
The improved body or new habit or higher productivity that we desire is not commensurate with the efforts required to obtain it. And yet the real self must never be too distant from the ideal self, or else pain ensues.
But something deeper is at work here that makes the going even tougher-
we think we are in complete control of our future behavior when we are not. We assume that what we desire now is what we will continue to desire just as strongly tomorrow.
So, if a new year’s resolution is just a whiff of momentary wishful thinking, what sustains long term behavior change?
We are all creatures of habit. Forces deeply seated in the subconscious mind dictate our long-term behavior. There are sub-conscious commands which set the undertone for all our decisions, mistakes and values. These commands are seated in the sub-conscious mind which is much like the operating system in your phone- unnoticed but ever-present, it is buried underneath layers of applications and interface silently issuing the commands that make the phone do its magic. Only in this case, when you convey your desire to your phone, say type a text message, the operating system responds with loyalty and fidelity to show you exactly what you want to see on the screen.
In the case of the mind, the loyalty and fidelity is not to be taken for granted. If you wish to see your desires manifested, you must speak to it in the language that the operating system of the mind understands. Just like you must use the machine language of coding (C+, Python, Java etc) to alter the design of an operating system of your computer, you need psychological language to alter the sub-conscious programming of your mind.
While there much ado about the power of the sub-conscious mind, there is little to suggest how exactly that power can be harnessed. If you can harness it, you can expect your resolutions and commitments to have a longer shelf life.
But to do this, you need a language that can sink deeper into the mind’s unconscious recesses and stay there embedded, and not merely ricocheting off the conscious mind, leaving no more than a faint memory of regret for the wish unfulfilled, only to be put-off into the future for another year’s resolution.
Such a command would have to installed in the sub-conscious mind by repetition, hypnosis and neuro-linguistic programming, to name just a few techniques. Thoughtful wordings, cadence, rhythm, ambient music all play a key role in achieving this objective.
Which brings me to my new year’s resolution. As a professional mentor and psychologist, it will be my endeavor to create such a psychological-coding language to bring about long-term behavior change.
The task I have set for myself will serve as proof of concept, or proof of failure of these ideas as it will only come to pass if the idea themselves are powerful enough to bring it into existence. Otherwise, they too will become a faint memory of regret for the wish unfulfilled, only to be put-off into the future for another year’s resolution.
In the meantime, if the new year seems less new each day, neither fret nor regret.
Realize that the mind often understands a different language than the one you speak.
And taming it is no small task. But there is much to be gained from what’s to come in the future.
As you will learn to reprogram your mind, you wield the power to make your destiny the way you desire.
All the best
Ravi Kapoor IRS (R)
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Yes sir that’s really true.I agree for what have you written in this message. Thank you sir for your guidance, you have been the great mentor in my life. Hope what ever you put efforts for the mentor ship students they all achieve their dreams and also your efforts should mean it . Once again thank you so much.